my life, my rules.

2008-01-14T17:25:00.000+08:00

a slow death.

been contemplating abt it.
i will no longer be updating here as much anymore.
and perhaps in a mth's time or 2,
will stop altogether.

it's been a gd few yrs at this site.
but it's time to move on.
=)

2008-01-14T10:18:00.000+08:00

FLU.

finally i succumbed to it.
friday morning, i stubbornly dragged my way to
the toilet,
thinking tt i could last til 3.30 pm at work.
once i stepped into the toilet,
the first thing i did was to rest my weary body on the
toilet seat.
stuck in that position 10 mins later,
i gave up, smsed a few ppl at work to tell them of my absence
and went back to bed.

woke up at the sound of my mum's voice,
telling me if Is was bringing me to de docs.
half awake, i speed dialled his number,
and god-knows-wad-i-said-to-him,
before i went back to sleep again.
20 mins later, i was coughing my lungs out
while taking a shower, when my grandma
said tt Is came.
then i realised tt i ordered him to send me to the docs.
right.

so we took a blardy 1 hr dere.
seriously, there's a flu bug ard.
aft we went for lunch at a cafe near my place,
and i basically slept the whole day through.

saturday, i felt much better.
went to vivo, bought work tops,
and work shoes.
i love my wedges!
den, i called mum, who was out,
and told her to make her way to vivo.
she came, and i told her to choose an
oven cos she been dying for a gooodddd one.
so she chose a DeLonghi one.
i'm quite pleased too.
so now i can bake better with a gd oven. hehe.

yesterday Is pampered me for one whole day
to make up for de days when i was worried abt him.
hehee. =)

oh yea, thanks for de msges and smses tt i got
asking if Is is doing ok.
yes, he is, he is recovering very well.
and he will be back at work in a few days' time,
insyaAllah.

ok. have a great week everyone.

2008-01-10T13:26:00.000+08:00

my head feels abt 10 kg.

at the rate i am going,
i'm going to be a pretty good mother
if my children are the difficult, clingy types.
i have my own share of "regulars" coming up to me
every morning at 7.15 am, holding on to their parents
for dear life.

today a snail saved the day.
the sight of one seemed to have cheered one boy up
immensely.
although i would love to brag and boast abt
my superb counselling skills.
and J saved the day too.
if not for the topic of "my favourite animal",
de lil boy wouldnt have settled so quickly,
armed himself with
power ranger pencil and stabilo colour pencils,
and began drawing his favourite animal.

no prizes for guessing what he drew.
it wasnt the almighty lion, the fierce tiger,
the cute rabbit or the fat lazy cat.
it was the same snail he saw moving lazily along
in the morning.

on other news,
my head feels like someone put a bowling ball on top
and secured it with screws.
my eyes feel like i've been standing in front
of a bbq pit for hours, all teared up and glazy.
my throat feels like it's gone through a grater.
my mouth feels like it's been poked and prodded all day
til it's sore.
my stomach feels like i ate sth wrong although i barely ate
anything the whole day.
and my body feels like i went in and out, half an hour later,
of a sauna.

it's 2.5 hrs til i can drag myself home.
hang on.

looks like i wont be going for ur family dinner tonight babe.
unless u wanna ta-pau and send to ur sick pathetic gf,
who is in dire need of some TLC.

ps: when i get sick, i get whiny. realllyyyy whiny.
i mean, everyone noes/acknowledges/assumes/labels me as
the pampered little princess, but i think
tt specifically only applies during my sick days.

2008-01-09T17:29:00.000+08:00

under the weather.

i am resisting falling 100% prey to antibiotics and the works.
i do not want to fall sick.
but yesterday it was only sore throat.
today it's tt, and a headache.
i do not want to run a temperature.
so shall i go home and get myself a much needed rest?

i should. i should.

i am starting to miss seeing the bf's face outside my workplace.
starting to miss de rides home.
and the dinners out.
starting to miss the bike.
starting to miss not having to walk so much. haha.

he's still on mc. extended it.
frankly, it worries me to see how slow his leg is healing.
considering he's treated as outpatient.
the stitches on his leg cant even be removed yet.

get well soon darling.
even if de bike is beyond repair, it's ok.
wad matters most is u.
=(

i swear de rain is making me mellow.
so i shall trudge on to de bus stop now,
take de bus,
and den walk the long walk home.

and den maybe off to dreamland?
maybe.

bye all.

2008-01-07T15:38:00.000+08:00

it's monday.

it's monday, week 2 of the new yr.
and it's not as bad as i thought it would be.
i think i made myself happy by sorting out
my working hours,
and ended up getting off work faster.
this in turn of course, makes de time
at work busier, and better.

everyday, i am rarely at my desk,
til afternoon.
then i'll go for lunch with
de lunch buddies,
and i'll be at my desk for 2-3 hrs,
churning out whatever work i have in store
for the next day.
den i am done. =)

other than boring everyone with my worklife,
i actually have not much to share.
except tt i spent de weekend
eating a lot.

yesterday, my sis was in my room,
sprawled on my bed, talkin to her bf
over de fone.
den she turned to me and said,
"u noe, khai's sister is 24. and today right,
her bf's family are coming to get to noe
her family. so, u r like, 24 this yr too.
so when's ur turn?"

lalala. can i kiv this qn til a later date? hehe.

2008-01-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

of pure luck.

sleep-deprived.
it irks me tt some things are beyond my control.
de fact tt work has started proper,
which means starting at 7am for me.
and by de time i get off work,
i'm beat.
yesterday i didnt manage to visit my
pitiful sidekick who was mildly bored,
and in pain.
tt, even tho he's staying 4 blocks away.
i'm so terribly sorry.
will try my best to make my way there today.
i just need some coffee along de way.

her very first day.
caught my lil cousin on her way home from sch tho.
she's in primay one, and it's her first day.
her mum commented tt her skirt was long enough
to be a kain. ahaha.
and told me to talk to lil safirah,
cos she refused to have anything to eat for recess.

me : asal fifi tak makan time recess?
cuzzin: dunno. i don want to eat.
me : you have a buddy right during recess time?
cuzzin : yea.... but he's a boy!!!!
me : but u need to eat k, tmr get urself
hotdog, or nugget. u like those right?
cuzzin : can i just bring bread from home?
me : no, becos ur mum will be dere til friday. she
needs to see her lil fifi be a big girl and
buy sth to eat for herself. after friday,
mama wun be dere anymore tau. den how?
cuzzin : hrmph. *sulks*

haha. she's super shy. i wonder how i was during
my first day in primary sch.

rekindling.
speaking of primary sch,
sth wonderful happened recently.
a long lost fren visited my frenster profile.
and a frenship tt i thot i lost 10 yrs ago,
was rekindled.
she was estatic to find out tt me n Is are together.
besides being my kindergarten/primary sch fren/best fren,
she was also Is' schmate back in sec sch.
so when she added us on frenster,
she was pleasantly surprised tt 2 ppl she knew
at 2 different places, ended up together.

it's really such a wonderful feeling to meet
someone who have been searching for all this while,
someone who used to be a big part of ur life,
once upon a time.

girls.
last sunday, as i was playing burnout dominator (it rawks i tell u),
liyana called me to say tt she has de car for de day,
so wanna go out?
car/bike = comfort, so i jumped at de opportunity.
super fast mobilisation, beats getting called down for reservist k.
a while later, liyana, ryu n zaima fetched me.
and off we went. first to parkway parade.
den to changi village for gooooood food,
den to changi beach for some taitee.
and a lot of cam whoring later.
and singing all de way home.
some good ol' fashioned girl bonding yo.

i realised sth. u all are pretty. jgn kembang ok.
just an observation. pfft. heh.

2008-01-02T13:29:00.000+08:00

starting 2008. with a bang.

i decided to spend the end of 2007 with Is.
but as it turned out....

i met him at de stroke of midnight.
2008.
how does having supper at the coffeeshop opposite my place,
with him, his parents, me, my grandma and bro sound?
like the party of the yr rite? ahaha.

and the story goes:

i had half day on new yr's eve.
finished at 1.30,
had lunch at coffee beans with colleagues (or FRENS). k, private joke.
anyway, Is wasnt granted half day,
so i had to wait for him.
went to tampines library,
which closes at 5pm.
so at 4.45, i was freshening myself up.
to realise tt i had 5 missed calls.
and a msg which read

"i had an accident. call me"

still thinking it was a joke,
i called him and regarded him in jest.
but of cos, it wasnt,
and i was just numb.
talking to liyana, listening to her
reassuring me tt everything's gonna be fine.
liyana, u have such a calming and
soothing voice u noe?

i made/dragged/zombied my way to bedok,
passed my helmet to habz,
who listened to me rambled on
while walking to her place,
den walked back to mine.

spent de rest of de day on my bed,
checking my fone every other min,
and restlessly watched tv and flipped
thru some mags.
had updates from his mother.

thank gdness.
no internal injuries.
onli superficial ones,
which requires stitches.

those who know me would know
tt i have a terrible phobia of blood,
i will just freeze at the sight of it.
so looking at Is post-accident,
and post-outpatient consultation at nuh,
although all bandaged,
de torn blood-soaked jeans, and drops
of blood on his tshirt
had me a tad quiet at times,
and rambling of nonsense at another.

i lay in bed tt night
thinkin thru de what ifs.
what if his visor hadnt been down?
what if he wasnt wearing proper footwear?
what if he hadnt had a sling bag with him?
what if there were other vehicles ard?
what if.....
i scared myself to sleep.

de next day,
armed with his favourite
fruit juice, chocolates and homemade fruit tarts,
visited him.
and just asked him question after question.

maybe to others who have been riding bikes
for a long time,
their mentality would be tt accidents are common -
just whether it is major or minor ones.

but for me, it wasnt.
and one thing i got from all this,
is tt,

it is at times of adversity,
would one realise how important and precious
someone is in their lives.

i learnt tt much abt my relatioship with Is.

and with tt lesson etched in my mind,
i started the yr 2008.

2007-12-31T10:23:00.000+08:00

gd luck.

Is told me tt i should concentrate on things tt made me happy.
and so...

i decided to quote this card tt my dearest colleague
gave me as part of my xmas prezzie.
it's sweet as hell.
and will make my day, anytime.

"I just wanted to say that there are few frens quite like you...
you say things that i care about...
you do things that matter...
you make a difference to me...
you make a difference to other ppl, too...
and i know for a fact that if you were not here...
i i wouldn't like the world quite as much as i do now."

doesnt that just justify for everything in my life?
yes it does, it does!
and i am happier now.
hehe.

the little things ppl do tt matter.

thanks, girl.

2007-12-28T17:30:00.001+08:00

resolution.

i last updated at the start of the week.
so it's de weekend. yeay..
been busy and caught up with meetings,
meetings and more meetings.

so had my final meeting for the yr,
(hopefully, because i wanna enjoy my new yr's eve)
and am glad tt it's friday,
which means = date with Is. finally.
altho last nite i did drag him out aft work
for 2 hrs to get some stuff.

there's saturday, sunday and monday before the new yr.
i'm prolly gonna talk abt how my 2007 was
either tmr or on sunday.

but for today, resolution.
usually my list comes up to a whole lot.
this yr is much compact, simple
and much more achievable, insyaAllah.
i've got only 2 agendas.

first, and the most important,
is to try to envy others less, and
appreciate myself more.
i think ppl generally tend
to compare themselves against everyone,
and even everything.
who is smarter, better, faster, prettier
and even to the downright ridiculous things.
we get so caught up and spend so much
energy doing tt that we sometimes
change or do things only as a reply
or a feel-gd way to get over our envy.
not tt it is necessary a bad thing,
but i think if i can get to make myself
think of everyone as different
and a unique individual,
then there really is no way tt we can compare,
because we are all wired differently,
live in different environment and amongst
different ppl, and have different set of genes.
so the only way to compare (if there is a real need),
is to do so with ourselves.
so tt we can grow, have more awareness abt wad we do,
and who we might have hurt/impacted in the process.
so yes,
need to stop comparing, and envying, and
start living!

secondly, i promised myself to be a better
person with all the hats tt i am/will be wearing
- a muslim, a daughter, a sister, a gf, a worker and a future wife.

so i will be better at work 9-5. (worker)
so i will clean, cook and help out more. (daughter)
i will learn to do things i have never done before
- like ANYTHING TO DO WITH CLOTHES [wash,iron,fold,sew] (future wife)
i will upgrade my religious knowledge (muslim)
i would not bring work (mentally) when i am out with Is. (gf)
i will motivate my siblings to do the best they possibly can. (sister)

=) and i am all set for 2008.

2007-12-24T13:17:00.000+08:00

hady mirza.

okay.
so i am a lil backdated here.
i mean, i watched asian idol.
(and dere should never be another one.
or even if they die2 insist on having
another, it shouldnt be in indonesia.)
wd's wrong with indoor stadium,
and the singapore crowd,
since our main spoken language is english.
or singlish.
but still...

i didnt vote for anyone.
not hady. not anyone.
i wasnt awed by anyone you see.
okay maybe i am biased tt my baby taufik wasnt dere.
heh.

however,
i was a lil impressed with hady.
he was better, as in his STAGE PRESENCE
than his time in singapore idol.
duncha all think so?
anyway, i wasnt surprised tt he won la.
as in, i wasnt surprised if anyone won.
i dunno. it's just mediocre, everyone's performance.
it's anyone's game.

however, i was surprised at the comments
on hady's winning.
by ppl i know, and ppl i don.
by faces masked behind computer screens.
so i watched asian idol once more.
de boy was obviously enjoying himself,
smiling, prancing ard,
just having fun,
a singaporean boy. it's not
everyday tt one can perfom on an international stage.

but den,
i decided to do my homework.
prior to the asian idol,
there was feedback tt it wasnt well publicised in singapore.
so was it done in other countries?
how did malaysians, indonesians, vietnamese, the likes.. view
hady mirza?

1) Straits Times, on why hady won.

1. He amassed “the other vote”

The contest rules were such that each person had to vote for two candidates, fans would give their “other votes” to a “neural” competitor rather than a strong one and that person is Hady.

2. He’s got the looks.

With his boyish, surfer-dude looks, well-built frame and nice hair, Hady was eye candy. Even the judges acknowledged his physical appeal even if they didn’t like his singing.

3. He’s got the charm.

Hady’s showmanship was excellent. In the entertainment industry, it was not enough to be able to sing well. You had to possess the charm and personality of a star as well.

4. His Malay appeal.

Race matters. Hady happens to be a Malay Singaporean, it meant that a sizeable number of Malays from Malaysia and Indonesians feel a certain kinship with him.

5. His universal appeal.

While Hady attracted the Malay archipelago votes, he also had an unthreatening Asianess about him that people from Vietnam to India could also relate to.

6. He kept it real.

Even though he was an idol to many, Hady still has the essence of the every man that many can relate to.

7. The whole package.

Record label head all agreed that Hady had what they called “the package” A nice balance of everything, looks, talent and the X-factor.

8. Ken’s strategy: Relak bro

Ken’s advise for Hady,” Don’t even think you are in a competition. Just relax and be yourself.”

9. Good song choice.

All contestants had to sing a song in English and another one reflecting their ethnicity. The Malay song, Berserah was a simple song which reaches out instantly. That had a wide appeal among the Malaysians and Indonesians. His second song Beautiful Day by U2, was the same one that Norwegian Kurt Nilsen sang to become World Idol.

10. Divine intervention.

“It was redemption. Even though he won Singapore Idol, he didn’t really got the treatment of a national champion. His win in Asian Idol was a sort of payback.” said Singaporean R&B crooner Imran Ajmain.

2)Hady himself speaks.
From Channelnewsasia.

3)Publicity Elsewhere.

Road to Asian Idol.

Malaysians already know him.
Muzika Extravaganza.

Interview in Indonesia before Asian Idol.
He can speak the language.

4)He does have the potential to win the hearts of Indonesians. and Malaysians.
The benefit of being Malay in Southeast Asia.
and let's not forget the Indians...

so that's why.

2007-12-24T10:02:00.000+08:00

the irony of it all.

one of my colleagues (who will be reading this, i'm sure of it)
painted me a scenario and asked for my opinion
the other day.

he told me,
if a toilet cleaner (i think) and a high flying exec (ur dream job)
earns the same pay, what would u choose to be?
a toilet cleaner isnt a respectable profession to most ppl,
but the cleaner is totally happy and contented with his job.
meanwhile, the high flying exec, who has been chasing this
dream of his since FOREVER, finally got it,
but he has to do a LOT of things beyond his job scope
and realises tt it isnt wad he envisioned it to be.

so will u be the toilet cleaner or the high flying exec?

and i admit, although he told me tt a couple of weeks ago,
it's been in my head since.

oh well.

on other news,
a few individuals told me tt i haven been myself of late.
i think i am feeling super duper emo
now that de holidays, and de year are coming to an end,
and i am not really looking forward to 2008,
unless someone can give me one gd reason why i should.

met habz on sat.
i think my best frens,
possess unknown superpowers.
they have de ability to make me sane.
even if it's an email or a little prezzie
all the way from japan. =)
or catching up over coffee.
and den fadly sent me home.
he confirmed sth tt has been bugging me.

part of me feels happy tt someone understands wad i feel abt it.
but on the other hand,
i feel a bit down tt it is true.
tt it's not just me acting all primadona
and complaining abt every single thing.
everyone who had the unfortunate experience of having to spend time here
feels de exact same way i do.

i miss the charmed life as a full-time student.

2007-12-21T09:47:00.000+08:00

the folks.

yesterday was not only aidiladha,
but my parents' 25th wedding anniversary too.
and i can finally give them a lil surprise
now tt i've started working.

see, my parents are very simple ppl.
they prefer hajah maimunah to some
posh restaurant,
they prefer shopping at tanjong katong complex
than other shopping malls.
they dun like me to splurge on them,
but i have to admit tt i feel like spoiling
them silly all the time
becos of all the hard work they put in all this while.

so as a daughter, it WAS REALLY HARD for me
to buy anything or plan anything for them.
wad can i get my parents....
i was initially considering paying for a short
trip to malaysia, since they didnt get to go
to kl recently.
but of course, mum would NEVER want to go
without her WHOLE family which includes
my grandma, my siblings, my aunts and uncles.
so ok.
They would NEVER go to a spa.
They would never allow me to treat them to a meal
someplace nice.

so i told my parents
"go get ready by 6, den we go out"
in the car, i told them,
ok, go anywhere you want,
buy anything u like,
it's on me. (chey.. but tt's de ONLY way i can think of)

guess where mum asked dad to drive to?
GEYLANG.
(this, after them giggling away, saying tt they are
not used to all this, that there isnt a need to, bla bla)
and i went "geylang?! the shops are closed, ma"
but just to make her feel better, we took a trip there,
and yup, the place was closed.
not all, but just the places she wanted to go to.

so i said TAMPINES MALL den.
(cos my mum would prolly think i'm crazy
if i were to suggest orchard)
well, dad tried suggesting Vivo City,
but mum just went "NO".
hahaha.
she was reluctant to even go TM actually,
cos she said it's a plce for youngsters.
(yeay i am young)
but she agreed, albeit reluctantly, in the end.
so i was thinking of all the places i could bring her to -
mainly all the jewellery shops.
den i remembered sth - she HATES white gold.

thankfully, at TM, she saw POH HENG.
so she happily went in.
and asked me to choose a ring for her.
haha.
i hate gold. it's too makcik/aunty,
and there's no such thing as a nice design.
so i told mum "er, choose de ones tt don have
too many details la. it looks too... er. messy"
(i refuse to use the word aunty/makcik. haha)
so she chose this particular one, thick,
shiny and simple gold band with lining at the side.

when i asked for it, it feels heavy and solid in my hands.
i actually thought tt the design was not tt bad afterall.
so i paid for it, and heaved a sigh of relief.
next, dad.
no ring.
no clothes.
no watch.
no wallet.
okay, he doesnt want anything.
grrrr.
he was like... "hmmm. i dun noe. i dun need anything"
and i noe my dad hates to be pressurised for anything.
and he does look stuck, like having to choose sth he doesn want.
so i hugged him, and asked him if he would feel better
if i give him an ang pow, and he can decide by himself
wad he wants to get at his own time.

he readily agreed.
and looks so relievedddddd.

geez.
haha.

and next mth is my mum's birthday.
damnnnnnn.
any ideas?

2007-12-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

unexpected.

friday night was a... yummy affair for me.
had this craving for mak's place a couple of days before,
and fulfilled it on friday.
had grilled chicken with mushroom sauce and
chicken basket, which was small pieces of chicken meat
coated with breadcrumbs and fried til crisp.
sth like popocorn chicken
but hundred times better.
just salivating thinkin abt tt.
and Is was right. they do serve such nice Milo. yum yum yum.

was still cravng for glazed doughnuts,
but since it was already late and we had to make
our way to tampines pronto,
decided to head over to munchy doughnuts and bought
some for me and the others.
met Zaima and Liyana for coffee,
and coincidentally we sat next to a fren of Is' who
was there with his gf.
so it was a night of catching up with everyone.
Ended the night with the silly game we played.
damn, zaima is gd with movies/actors/actresses.
and i keep giving crappy answers to save myself. or try to.

sat and sunday was spent blissfully at home.
i'm known as the girl who couldnt stay still at home.
at least for post-jc days.
but i was really fortunate to have those 2 days to just
kick back, get comfy, wear pyjamas,
read great books, listen to great music,
and still eat great food. hee.
finished a total of 2 novels,
the latest cleo my sis got for me
(and mentally note down wad i wanna get),
played Burnout Dominator for HOURS.
couldnt think of anything better to replace
all that.

had monday blues this morning though.
not sure if i am still having it now.
but i realised tt i have a lot of things to think
abt, and not really sure how to go abt doing some things.

besides tt, i found out a piece of news that
affected me quite a bit.
i do hope u stay strong love,
insyaAllah everything is gonna be fine.
i'll pray for the best,
for your family ok?
and i promise, a biggg hug coming ur way soon.
tonight k, i'll drop by for a while. =)

let's hope everything else will back in place.

2007-12-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

for remembering.

no matter what we do,
who we interact with,
where we go,
the one thing we hope is tt we made a difference,
an impact, tt we touched someone's life along the way.

tt's abt the most important principle i stick to
ever since i could think.
i'm all abt simple, private, intimate affair.

i'm into hanging out, catching up with frens over a cuppa,
talking abt all things under de sun/or moon with de bf
under our void decks,
supper with frens at simpang,
and i enjoy my tv nights with my siblings,
doing crazy nonsense and sarcastic jokes tt onli us siblings
can take.

i do not function well at big affairs, loads of ppl.
feels like i dunno where to start,
and how to mingle without being superficial.

there's a fine line between being an introvert and an extrovert,
and i do think tt i am balancing on tt said line.

enough of my digressing.
well, it's friday, and i am feeling happy and cheery
to having a (get this) weekend with NOTHING TO DO
and NOWHERE TO GO!
woohoo.
i shall enjoy being at home home home.
tonight will be the usual friday night out with de boy =)
and to make the whole deal so much sweeter,

i got a comment in frenster.
asking me to check her blog.
so i did.
and wad i read made me tear.
it's been sooo long since i last so her,
and she's all tall, and anak dara now.
the things tt she said i did for her,
i thought i wasnt doing much.
it feels kinda amazing
when u realise tt someone appreciates sth u did,
and appreciates u as a person.

=) enjoy ur weekend people.

2007-12-11T13:08:00.000+08:00

a whole load of fun.

went to kl for 3 days.
it was a memorable trip to say the least.
i was actually reluctant to go back home.
de company was great.
hehe.
*winks*

i had reservations abt Is going for my family vacation actually.
didnt noe if he could get along with(and stand) my family for 3 days.
But... i was very very very impressed.
=) well, he's definitely in my family's gd books now.
he pampered my grandma, handled conversations well with my aunt,
shared jokes with my uncle,
and shared food/bathroom/toilet/bed/winning daidee games/irritatin
the hell outta me with my brother.

makes me wonder if we had traded places,
would i do as well?
he's a natural.
i have to try so damn hard.
but we'll see. =)

2007-12-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

wakenabeb!

I came home close to midnight
lugging 2 birthdays cakes (well, half of each),
2 bags of gifts.
and umbrella, cos it was raining madly in the day.
Luckily I was sent right to my doorstep.

So how was 5th of Dec for me?

It was as sweet as my 2 birthday cakes combined.
And then some.

As a child, I hated my birthday. in December.
in Kindergarten, i couldnt have a birthday party in class.
In primary school, i couldnt get sabo-ed.
i'll be at home, because it's de school holidays.
And it seem to be customary tt 5th of Dec
is a rainy day. (no exception this year).

Mum would always put in effort for my birthday,
maybe because she knew how i envied my siblings
and their during-the-school-term birthdays.

This also meant I never had a birthday surprise,
or a birthday party as a child.

However, yesterday, I had a chance to go back in time
and fulfil those unfulfilled wishes of mine. =)
Twice. For the fact that I'm always the one
planning kickass parties/surprises for my loved ones,
yesterday was a gd one pulled on me.
well, two actually.
i blame the weather. made me non-alert
and on hibernation mode.

let's start with the first one.
after lunch, back at work,
i was led to believe that the lock
of my counselling room was gone
(someone removed it, yada2)
and that the room was locked by the school's key.
so i panicked, thinking i had no right
to lock the room using my own lock.
i went ard looking for the person who
removed my lock.
10 mins later, my fren brought me up to the room again
pretending to want to try to open the door again,
in case it was just jammed.
as i opened the door,
2 other colleagues of mine were inside de room.
was greeted by a lemon cheesecake
and a birthday song.
i was seriously in shock, abt the lock tt is.
classic, but i fell for it.
told u it was the weather. haha.
thanks for the surprise and the prezzie guys.
everyone noes my fetish where bags are concerned. =p

on the other hand, thruout the day,
that bf of mine refused to tell me where we are going
for dinner or wad we'll be doing for that matter.
so met him after work,
and he said we're going to vivo.
cabbed there.
i believed him when he told me that we are going to
de 4th floor and climbing up some ladder.
*roll eyes* i mean, he's doing his attachment now,
and tt's wad he does. checkin the wadevr thingy in buildings.
so thot he got some special permission or sth.
upon reaching the 3rd floor,
he immediately bought 2 tickets to sentosa.
den i was just, plain lost.
not knowing wad to expect.
it even occured to me tt he was wandering aimlessly
cos he got no plans.
and he won even give me my bday present in his bag.
we walked ard for de longest time,
found myself at siloso beach,
where tents were already up for the upcoming Zoukout 07.
no idea whether i was blind or in a daze,
but i swear i didnt see de 5 ppl under the shelter,
until when i was a few metres away,
and saw the pretty colourful lightsticks.
that was when i was greeted by a cheery birthday song,
cake and candles again.

i was so touched by the whole thing.
the effort his bestfrens made to create that
"5 yr old birthday party" atmosphere tt i totally dig!
i mean, u shouldnt feel old on ur birthday
even tho technically u r turning a yr older.
i learnt tt the 2 of them and Is stayed up til 3 am
to buy and plan everything.
and that two of them lugged the
drinks, ice, party materials, everything from de carpark
which was like so far awayyyy.
i even had a birthday hat yo!
i had myself a cookie monster cake. hehee.
even the marshmallow/rootbeer/mineral water game,
although kental, was loads of fun,
almost-vomiting moments, and not forgetting,
mine and Is' 200m sprint to the nearest toilet
after downing glasses of rootbeer. sprint.

it was all i wanted and more.
thanks guys.
i'm so touched la.
pls do get ur well-deserved rest eh.

besides that, it was touched by a few other things.
my first birthday wish came all de way from japan -
love u soff, missing u loadssss!!!
and all de smses, calls, frenster msges, emails, msn wishes
i got. thanks a lot k. raellie appreciate it =)
and mum's touching bday 'card' tt made me cry because
of the content.

and all de prezzies i got. gee thanks sey.

and today would be a small makan session at home.
=) and sat-mon, a belated bday getaway to kl. yeay.

and to the bf of mine, who was so stressed up
the few days before my bday,
and even on the day itself, becos it
was raining cats and dogs and elephants and monkeys,
thank u dear.
i love how the day turned out,
and the prezzies! hehehe.
you noe me sooo well aye?

2007-12-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

i wanna say....

It's My Bday! Yeay!

2007-12-04T09:01:00.000+08:00

up, up and away.

a fren's ipod was on random play yesterday,
and i heard a song that i haven heard in a long time,
and i felt uplifted.
love the song.
and the energy i got from it.
=)

Wake up kids
we got the dreamers disease
Age 14 they got you down on your knees
Souls polite, we're busy still saying please
Friendnemies, who, when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes-Benz
First we run; and then we laugh till we cry
But when the night is falling
and you cannot find the light, light
You feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight

Chorus:
---------
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
---------

I'm coming home baby
You're tops, Give it to me now

Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
we're flat broke but hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
But when the night is falling
You cannot find a friend, friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend

(chorus)

This whole damn world can fall apart
It'll be ok, follow your heart
You're in harms way I'm right behind
Now say you're mine

(chorus)

Don't let go
I feel the music in you,you,you YOU!
Fly ....... high .......!
What's real ....... can't die .......!
You only get what you give
You gonna get what you give
Don't give up
Just don't be afraid to live .......!

Health insurance rip off lying
FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around, we'll kick your ass in!

Don't let go
One dance left
Don't give up
Can't forget

2007-12-03T17:29:00.000+08:00

got to have faith.

was unexpectedly a better day today.
dunno wad will happen tmr, but i am thankful
tt i got through today and it's better than expected.

thanks to de phonecalls i received,
the long hugggg from the gurl who just came back from australia,
and the happy people i hang out with the whole of today.

i think i did some good work today to rectify
whatever happened.
hope it did sth.
i hope.

well, off to home,
to rest, relax and be in the comfort of the
ones i love.

2007-11-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

through the rain.

Truth be told, I wasn’t feeling fantastic abt 2 hrs back.
Some stuff happened,
Left me feeling drained out/shocked/sad,
And about a million other negative emotions.
However, part of me was glad that before everything happened,
I was prepared that something bad was going to happen to me.

So for close to 2 hrs, I was dying to see someone comforting.
My mum.
Late grandpa.
Grandma.
My younger bro.
Is.
My galfrens.
Even a smiling stranger.
A busker.
Whatever.
I managed to sum up the little strength I had left
to at least make my exit a more less-tormenting and
comforting one.
At least.

So most of my emotions were left were it all happened.
The only nagging part that seems to remain stuck in my head
is how I can make things better.
I have got to put the other seemingly unnecessary,
Non-constructive comments aside
And focus on the feedback I can actually work on.

I am thankful though that God blessed me with good frens.
I felt a huge relief after the whole thing happened,
Cos I came back to 2 gd frens who were very warm
And such a joy to be with. And to be heard.
You guys know who you are. =)

And Liyana darling was so sweet.
I wonder how she could sense that I wasn’t my usual self.
But thanks darling, for taking time from studying
for the exams and comforting me.
=)

and I am going to meet the love.
And everything is gonna be alright.

2007-11-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

all that lurvin'

whenever i read aida's blog,
my stomach, and eyeballs would turn 360 degrees.

i'm not sick.
and i am not disgusted either.
okay, maybe just a wee bit.

i am amazed how this gurl can be so mushy
in practically all her posts.
it's either abt
her&irwan, abt irwan,
or sth totally unrelated,
but had to end of with either
her&irwan, or irwan.

dun get me wrong,
i am not dissing her.
on the contrary,
i am in awe how she can do tt.

heh. well, i do say nice things
abt Is too, don't I? er. yea.

oh fine.
i cant make myself do tt,
because de older I get,
it seems my vocabulary of all
things mushy and hair raising
are slowly depleting.

but if aida does tt,
and her relationship
has been going on since FOREVER,
then perhaps i should try too.

and since I cant do it with words,
well,
a picture speaks a thousands words
doesnt it? =p

DISCLAIMER: the entry has got nothing
to do with envy, jealousy, the works.
it's a way for me to post an extremely
mushy photo, and get away with it. hehe.

by the way, this is the original,
uneditted,
non-pengantin-like photo.

cheers!

2007-11-29T14:10:00.000+08:00

a lil change is all we need.

just a little tweaking makes a lot of difference.
not an overhaul, but just a little change.

it's all a matter of how one looks at things.
how one sees the beauty of something.
one's perception of things.

and ironically, a little change often brings about
a world of difference.

credits to Liyana for the photos.

2007-11-28T18:37:00.000+08:00

another step.

he's taking quite a while.
so i'll blog.
based on a conversation i had minutes before.
and the talk i had with Is last night.
i love talks with tt boy.
not every man i know talks rationally yo.

next yr will be a yr of focusing on de necessary,
and letting go of some distractions along the way.

where work is concerned,
i'm planning my goals.
hopefully all will be achieved.

where love is concerned,
i'm glad tt it's not stagnant,
tt we're always making plans,
setting goals,
so it's always an onward thing.

where family is concerned,
de sister will be in uni next yr.
haf to think abt supporting her financially.
bro will be sitting for his o-lvls next yr.
he's smart, but complacent.
hopefully i will be disciplined enough
to be his constant motivator.

where others are concerned,
maybe i would like to clarify sth.

i do things not to get sympathy or get fans.
i am not a politician, actor or singer.
i am a volunteer.
and as a volunteer, i believe,
there's no hierarchy between u and me.
there's no such thing as an "ordinary volunteer",
"senior volunteer", "ex-volunteer",
"main comm volunteer", or "jkp volunteer".
a volunteer's a volunteer.
we do things with the same nawaitu.
i do not crave for power.
esp not in a volunteer work setting.
tt is a joke, my friends, aint it not?

so i do not answer to you.
i talk to whoever i want to.
as and when i like it.

i clearly remember tt i introduced myself as
"Nurain, a volunteer".
i did not use anyone's name,
or any department to back me up.
so i stand responsible for every comment i make.

i made the decision for that particular fonecall
becos i was there for de last week when you arent.
you didnt see the difficulties the ppl
i got close to suffered.
you werent there at 11pm when we all were out
there wondering where to go.
if you were in my position,
what would you have done i wonder?

and darling,
you aint the only ex-gangster ard.
my rebellious past may have been gone,
but clearly,
my daring, outspoken side hasnt.

oh.
and it's easier for me to do all this,
and step on as many toes as i want,
becos one thing's for sure,

i don angkat buah. =)

with that, i rest my case.

2007-11-28T18:19:00.000+08:00

brand new.

new layout.
becos, i got sick of de brownnnnn.
i noe u all like de skin.
me too. hehe.
but this one's not bad either right?
and pureeee white. i like. =)

waiting for the boy to fetch me.
haha. pampered girl. sheesh.

2007-11-27T17:03:00.000+08:00

color me badd.

i love simplicity.
yet at the same time, i love bold colors
against the backdrop of sth pure and simple.
i envision my future house to be a canvass of purity
with a dash of bright colors here and dere.
lucky for me, he shares de exact same sentiments as me.

y am i talkin abt this?
i love andy warhol's works.
the guru of pop art.
and what's pop art?
perhaps i shall show one of his signature pieces,
marilyn monroe in pop art.

so i attempted my own pop art.
was i successful?
you be the judge.

there's a lot more i could edit tho.
but not bad for a first timer, aye?

2007-11-27T14:27:00.000+08:00

back in the arms of de loved one.

and i am referring to paintshop pro.
i happen to dislike adobe photoshop. heh.
see, i hope to be some artsy fartsy person.
if i didnt go to jc.
prolly take some computer course in poly.
and do loads of great design.
but oh well. i love wad i am doing now nonetheless.
so leave me and my mediocre editting skills alone.
but if u wanna help, go right ahead.
=)

my 5 minute basic edit.

original picture.

colour edit. and some other stuff.

in grayscale! and de more de merrier. hee.

2007-11-26T14:13:00.000+08:00

my weekend.

i started my saturday morning pretty early.
i went to do up my atm card (i misplaced mine),
and applied for a new passport (bcos it seems my current
passport pic is not 'recent'. thankss for makin me feel olddd)
going to the bank and going to ica on a saturday morning is no joke.
the queue is horrible, really.
Is was doubting my ability to successfully complete both
tasks unaccompanied, and commuting using public tranport.
but i did both in record time. blueeek.
rushed home with burger ramlys, roti john and keropok lekor in hand
to meet my lil cousin who had her pri 1 orientation tt day.
seems like she'll be schooling in my ~~old~~ neighbouring
school. since my sch has been demolished. sob.
prolly she'll turn out to be smart alecks like her 3 older cousins too. haha.
but hey, everyone noes schoolin in this area makes one more streetwise.

ha ha.

thought i won go out til sunday.
but as i was watching the jeff dunham dvd my fren burned for me,
and laughing hysterically/maniacally with the two already-mental siblings at home,
Is called and shocked me by saying sth like this:
"You, my mum and dad ask you along for dinner with my family. i'll meet you aft maghrib k?"
and he called at 6.45. i think i got ready without thinkin much abt it.
considering the fact that i am awkward as hell ard those older than me,
esp future in-laws.

thank gdness de dinner turned out great.

can i jakun-ly state here tt i watched a kuda kepang performance
for the very first time tt night?
yeap. i have never watched it before. as in, yea, seen it ard at weddings,
but wasnt encouraged to watch.
it's a prettyyyyy hmmm... out-of-this-world spectacle to watch.
the psychology major in me observed the crowd every other minute,
and i was perturbed at the fact tt everyone seemed so drawn and engrossed
at the whole routine.
truth be told, in my point of view, it's a bit like WWF/WWE.
great fun to watch, but hard to believe, and not tt i give a hoot.
but still great fun to watch.
anyhow, i was glad tt everything was explained to me by his family.
or else i wont noe why everyone was moving ard de arena tt way
or why some were eating glass.
why would anyone want to get possessed?
hmmm. i do hope no one will be offended by tis post.
esp kuda kepang enthusiasts.
treat me like a tourist k. i no nothing abt these things.

so tt's my saturday. if i recalled correctly,
his mum's and sister's parting words were
tt they will invite me/look forward to future outings.
i take it tt i did a pretty decent job,
albeit a bit shy. (dont puke)

sunday, i went to leza's sister's wedding.
i love daniel irfan parker can.
and may i just add not becos he is half-angmoh,
cos i noe some ppl *roll eyes* are like head over heels
with ang moh babies.
but i love tt lil boy, because i simply love
non-cerewet babies.
irfan doesnt cry. he's one heck of a happy, bouncy baby
who can be in anyone's arms and wount cry lookin for the mother.
leza told me his only weakness is de singapore heat,
but just wearing overalls and nuthin else seemed to haf solved tt.
i think he'll grow up to be one peramah boy just like
his mummy.
i was at the table with de 4PM troop, and i will upload de pic soon
for u shahrillll... hehe.

den i watched enchanted (since i was stuck at AMK hub cos it was
RAINING)
i love it.
but i think Is loved it more.
cos he was happy all de way home.
even during de call before he slept.
haha.

now it's monday.
8 more days before i hit 23.
geez. 23, 10 years ago, is likeeee. sooo olddd.
now i am in denial thinkin... "23 still young wad?"
and i just got news tt my jc classmate is getting married soon.
wah. ok. old. i noe.

10 more days before i go off to kl.
short weekend trip.
should be back monday evening.

lalala.
ok. this has been a really long, and pretty narcisstic post.
but den again, tt's what blogging is abt. right?
i am just glad tt my blog is pretty much for those who noe.
i mean, those who don, will wander in once in a while,
but wun care much.
cos there's nuthing interesting anyway. =p

2007-11-23T14:57:00.000+08:00

bits and pieces.

pictures of Camp Voyage 07 can be found here.

this is the montage shown during the campfire.

and the bunch of ppl who made it all possible.

Last night, after the release of the PSLE exam results during the day,
which meant a long mentally tiring process for me the school counsellor,
we had our dinner & dance.
yup.
i went off earlier after work to get some much needed shuteye,
den woke up, and got ready for de party.
the theme was RETRO.
and basket. i could have won best dressed if not for the fact
tt my principal was 'advertising' herself all over.
haha. here are some pix. not much. i was seriously tired.

2007-11-19T17:39:00.000+08:00

against all odds.

with reference to the title,
isn't this what Camp Voyage 07 has been all abt?

i cant seem to describe much
because i am still overwhelmed
at how things have turned out.

but i am thankful for this lifelong lesson
i learnt in being a prt of
organising, fightin for my team's rights,
and being a part of camp voyage.

hearing the positive comments from ppl
all around,
and seeing campers commenting to each other
in frenster abt how theyll miss each
other now tt it has ended
and how much they learnt abt so many things
during the camp,

is truly icing on the cake.

i've learnt so much.
i'm truly humbled by
- the patience of my committee
- the dedication of the facis
- the openness of the campers to receive the hostel boys
- the fun the hostel boys brought to the camp despite
the adapting issues during the first day

i have so much running through my mind.
but overall,
despite the great challenge and resistance we faced,
God has given me the best committee i could ask for,
and the support from frens tt i so badly need,
and of course, the great turnout of the camp.

it has been one hell of a journey.

2007-11-16T08:23:00.000+08:00

lets hold on together.

aden, liyana, mint, boy and asryna are just some people
who listened to my catharsis yesterday
and emphatised with me.
thank you dears.

i would like to share with the world
abt the commitment level of my committee
by showing a few fotos i took ard 1 am last night.

this after being chased out of 4PM at 11pm last nite.
this after sitting with boxes, papers and knick knacks
that were waiting to be worked on.
sitting for almost an hour outside 4PM.
this after being treated as if we didnt matter
by the staff in-charge.
this after being clueless on what to do next.
this after having to travel with the boxes of things
in the lorry in the middle of the night
to my uncle's place so tt we can continue our work.

i salute you guys for your strong will and determination.

may camp voyage 07 be a successful one.

2007-11-15T07:45:00.000+08:00

gratitude.

thanks for all those heartfelt comments,
mint, liyana and nadiah.
it was really nice to read all that.
it feels gd to have support when u need it most.

thanks liyana for writing tt post on ur blog.
thanks liyana and aden for spending HOURS
at 4PM listening to me, to us, the comm.
thanks for those advices you gave Jack,
and the hugs you gave me!

thanks nisa and mariam for the concern
that i felt so much, even tho it was thru
msn n smses.

thanks aida for speaking up on our behalf.
i really like how straightforward you are.

thanks jack for still being so strong and calm.
for being able to talk to HER still when the
rest of us refused to talk to her anymore.
thanks natra for being the the strong, silent leader.

thanks comm for being so motivated and going
abt with ur tasks regardless of the support from the staff.
thanks facis for helping out and understanding our
situation.

thank you darling for understanding me
when i didnt pay much attention to you recently.
i'm sorry, but thanks for always being my pillar
of strength.

thank u to my lyf darlings - syukri, syukriyah, zakirah,
faezah, faizal, razak, akhram, adham, and ezyan who will
bring isam along, for giving support to
kak ain, kak aida and abg Is.
we'll be there for u guys during the camp,
so if there is anything, pls do approach us.

because of EVERYONE's efforts, contribution,
dedication, commitment, care, concern and
never-say-die attitude,
CAMP VOYAGE 07 WILL GO ON AS PLANNED.
16-18 November 07
Changi Coast Adventure Centre
Campfire - 17th November, 7.30 pm

i sincerely hope that 4PM volunteers will show
your support to a 100% volunteer planned,
prepared, and executed programme.
no staff, no jkp, no nothin.

2007-11-14T08:12:00.001+08:00

my catharsis.

I gave a short talk yesterday to my committee.
Thanks to the chairpersons, Jack and Natra,
For allowing me to do so.

I felt a sense of responsibility, with the training
That I received, with the job that I am holding,
And of cos, my passion for volunteer work,
And for 4PM, regardless of the departments I work with.

I was just very glad that my committee, 80% were
First-timers to 4PM, first-timers in organizing a 4PM event,
Rose up to the challenge that sadly, was given
By our very own SUPPORT staff.
As I conducted my short motivational talk yesterday,
I was touched at the fact that a few individuals
Admitted that they weren’t contributing much,
And one even said that he had expressed the desire to quit
The committee, but stayed on.
I was glad that my committee supported these people,
Applaud their desire to stay on, applaud them for their honesty,
And cheered them up when they insisted they weren’t doing much.
I was glad that we are united, and I am glad that our chairpersons
Listen to our voices, and things are better now as a committee.

However, I am truly disappointed with my organization.
Truly disappointed that no one gave a check as to how we are coping,
And extremely disappointed that our very own SUPPORT staff
Expressed to the very FEW people who are still talking to her
At this point, that we should just quit.
That the camp should just be cancelled.
That “are you all sure you all can make it?”
She sniggered at us.
We are given til today to satisfy the number of campers
that she wanted, or else she wants to cancel it.
At 8PM sharp, she said she wanted to lock up.
This despite being left with only 48 hrs to prepare for the camp.
We even had to come up with invites to invite all the staff to come
For our campfire because some of them were asking me when is the date.
No one is clear abt the camp, because the staff-in-charge did not convey
Anything to them.

We are like lost sheep.
Last night, we held our meeting from 8-10+ pm at the outdoor sitting area
Near the stage (where the photoshoot for children’s day was at).
That was where I gave them my motivational talk.
Tell me, how to feel motivated in that kinda environment?

On Thursday, a day before the camp, if she is not gonna let us overnight there,
Or even stay til 11, I have no choice but to perhaps book a chalet or sth for my committee.
I have assumed this role because seriously, my committee needs someone to guide them.

As much as I try to be strong for my group and stay positive so that they will follow suit,
Part of me just feel so much for this grp of people,
Because we really don have the support, except for the 14 of us supporting each other.
And special mention to a staff who I have been seeking assistance from.
Thanks a lot for your concern. =)

2007-11-07T10:50:00.000+08:00

musings.

its so important to take time out

from your crazy life and engage in things

that will make you relax and regroup.

i have always believe in that,

but it is a lot harder to practice than

to preach abt it.

almost always, when we are doing so many things

at one time, i we tend to get so

focused that we forgot to take a little time

to slow down, smell the flowers and enjoy the breeze.

why am i saying all this?

because i have absolutely no idea,

that a few mere hours of you-and-me time with the bf

did good to me.

we didnt talk abt work/work/work/work

but on each other.

i thought tt was a refreshing change (can be quite hard when u

haf a workaholic as a gf. =p)

it dawned on me tt for de past few weeks/months,

a date wasnt really a date at all.

and i am thankful tt i learnt a meaningful lesson tt night.

=)

on another note, i think tt even if u are having a bad day/week,

and everyone seems to be picking on you,

there isnt a need to act irresponsibly, shirk your responsibilities,

and disrupt others' agendas. grrrr.

2007-11-06T09:42:00.000+08:00

dilemma

no, not tt Nelly/Kelly Dilemma situation. I am still faithful to my bf, thank goodness for that.

but I have been tossing and turning in bed last night. A very important decision to make.

I wish I could tell the whole world what’s bothering me, but as strange as it is,

I do not like to tell my personal stuff to the whole world.

Yea yea, I noe, I am a blogger. Bloggers are supposedly those who pours out their private life to infinite pairs of eyes online.

I suppose that’s why my posts are seemingly shallow and lacks my deepest
Darkest thoughts and musings.

I just do not like people reading me like tt.

I can share what I did the whole day, but I can never ever share what I thought abt the whole day.

Plain weird I know.

Ok I am digressing.

I have abt 1 mth and 2 weeks to decide.

I just pray that He will show me the way.

On another note, I am pretty happy at how 2007 is turning out.

Still have the whole of November and December before the year ends,

But so far 2007 has been a yr of great returns.
NUS graduation.A degree at last.

Start of my first job. And in the govt sector.

2 pay rise, a bonus and counting.

And yesterday was my course closure.

Which means that other than the fact that I have to fulfill my 3.5 hours of supervision,

I am done. And can safely say that I have a diploma in counselling.

I couldn’t hope for a better outcome. Last year I was pondering on the fact tt

I was 21, and not a penny to my name.

But I guess, now, my perseverance has paid off.

I can only thank God for answering my prayers and my loved ones

for supporting me every step of the way.

What will 2008 bring me I wonder?

2007-11-01T10:18:00.000+08:00

bits and pieces

Sorry for not updating (but like Aden says, got time to change layout… ahaha). Anyway, a few updates here and there.

1) As promised : The MOST WANTED list.

The crime: Falling asleep all over, in weird positions, some can be quite controversial. In glamourous get-ups, with some wearing a guy’s baju kurung tt costs 180 buckaroos, a tailored cheongsam-like baju kurung, and other fanciful outfits, engaging in acts of falling asleep(gasp!) all over at frens’ houses that are all made-up nice and grand for the Raya celebrations.

The culprits: Faces not revealed to protect the identity of those guilty.

Look at all those various poses. tsk tsk. haha.

2) Jalan Raya with Them

My second yr jalan raya with Is' Frens.
Last yr was pretty stressful cos there were 3 couples,
and 2 of them are engaged.
The remainin couple is of course me and Is la.
This yr, we had a new addition to the family.
hehe.
Another couple, yeay.
So we are not the only dating couple ard.
I had a great time, and all de food were goood.
My fav is of course the Western one.
If last yr I had pasta with white cream sauce,
This yr is was chicken chop with melted cheese,
and banana caramel as dessert. yum yum.

Hopefully next yr the engaged ones would be married
and have a house of their own.
wheeee... cant wait. hehe.
Here's to many more yrs of jalan raya!

2007-10-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

22 or more houses.

tt’s the number of houses I went to last Saturday and Sunday

with the LYF gang.

Sorry Nisa, me n Is had to miss out on the last house,

I start work earlyyyyy in the morning, so no choice,

Had to surrender.

The moment I got in the cab… bam.

Slept all the way til Bedok.

It was a blast.

One of the best jalan rayer everrrr.

I think cos of the wonderful hosts,

the good food,

and last, but most importantly, the kick-ass company!

I finally signed up for Multiply,

Pics will hopefully be up this afternoon.

Me n Is wore black on the first day and

Last yr’s purple on the second day.

Thanks everyone for the wonderful time!

WARNING: Beware of my next post on… jeng jeng jeng…

Hehe. Just wait la. Hint: “penat beraya”

Happy guessing!

2007-10-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

once again.

I went through the first few days of raya with mixed feelings.

A few situations that demand my attention, I tried

Pushing it to the back of my head.

I was sooo sleepy, sooo tired,

Cos it’s all last minute for me.

Managed to somehow overhaul my room,

Installed the metal shelf,

And cleaned, cleared, threw about half of the things in the room.

I continued on the morning of raya.

After that, bathed, wore my clothes,

Paint my face, and ta-daaaa.

Ok la. Looked presentable.

Ate ate ate, nenek’s kuah lodeh is heaven.

den ard 1 pm, mum’s side decided

To go to grandaunt’s place at woodlands.

So off we went.

Then 2 extended families met.

So kecoh.

I was having 2nd and 3rd helpings of nek busu’s

Delish daging rendang. My. Never tasted tt kinda rendang before.

Den my family parted ways, and we went to nenek’s house.

My sis was so excited and like every other yr, she'll go,

"oh pls let there be the kuah satay, and the ayam merah, and udang sambal"

heh. but those are my fav too.

That’s when I realized tt so many people wore green this yr.

And the kebaya Indon that I keep seeing at Geylang is really popular.

Thank gdness I got my family’s stuff at JB,

If not, I’d have to search high n low at Geylang for a baju

Thats not transluscent.

We came much later this yr,

But that’s a good thing because the rest came ard the same time.

Everyone looked so dead tired.

But I think everyone agreed that the photo taking session rocks!

After that mum wanted to go somewhere else,

But we told her that we are just too tired.

Pls sis dah tido buruk inside the van. Haha.

Second day, we had sooo many visitors.

Penat this part-time waitress, cum babysitter,

Cum discipline mistress (for those lil rascals).

Didn’t know the “ader momok dlm store” trick still worked.

Haha.

But really, was so tired.

The third raya, saya on leave. Hehe.

But early morning, my student called.

Said she’s coming with some others.

In the end, there’s 8 of them.

They ate so much, but poor thing,

They came when it was raining heavily.

Maybe that explains the hunger.

Thanks for coming kiddos. =)

And truckloads of visitors later,

It dawned on me that I would be working the next day.

Dang.

So that’s my first 3 days of raya for me.

The best part abt raya,

Is having visitors of course.

Esp since my nenek stays with us, so everyone comes over.

But this yr tho, is my first yr giving out the green packets.

I think a few others reading this pun same case rite?

But I think it’s fun giving out the packets,

And seeing the kids’ face light up.

Mcm best gitu.

And I gave my elders too, and I think some of them,

The ones close to me, was quite touched by the

Fact that I’ve grown up and am on the other side now.

Late last night, my students called ( a different grp).

Planning to come tmr.

Saya kerja sayangs.

Another time k, sorry…

Will be going to leza’s place tonight. Finally.

With Mr Ismail Nazri, whom I haven met for the longest

Time despite staying 4 blocks away from me. Haha.

Then will finally be going jln raya

on friday, sat, sun, monday. family n frens.

Will be back soon with pictures (hopefully).

tataaaa

2007-10-12T08:48:00.000+08:00

2007-10-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

raya @ cgh

first of all, ryu... u r prolly

the first person i've met who is soo positive,

and cheerful aft getting knocked down by a car,

and fracturing ur pelvis and knee as a result.

oh yes. tt is wad happened to her.

got to noe it from liyana in the wee hours of monday morning,

as i was abt to get ready to go to work.

when i was telling Is abt it,

i bloody laughed.

I mean, minah bimbo ku sorang ni,

of all the kental things tt she did/happened to her,

this tops it all.

getting knocked down by a car just days before raya.

abis baju raya camne?

last yr u bought a pair of red pazzion shoes right?

de ones where u made me soooo jealous parading it all

ard de room the day u bought it.

this yr how?

when we visited her later in the evening,

she, dgn selambanya grinned at us

while eating (as usual, she eats a damn lot).

the sight of her, left leg all bandaged up all de way,

unable to move ard,

and as aida says, had to have her ass wiped by her sis,

cracks me up after the usual tense i feel while in the hospital.

Although you are my kental and selengge bacin girl,

kudos to u for me so strong and taking it positively.

Just imagine if it was me.

Mesti confirm nangis 3 hari 3 malam.

Tak dpt raya punyer pasal.

And I'd get the whole world to sleep over with me,

just in case I need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

And lastly, I picked out a card for her.

It had a majestic, royalty lookin, white, furry cat

complete with a crown and robe,

that says sth like

"Style, Trendy,..." (i tak ingat)

the next page read "You Got it All."

I added, "Even if you have a fractured pelvis and knee"

Signed off by Is and me.

Get well soon love.

2007-10-08T15:24:00.001+08:00

the first time.

ain’t sure whether the first time working while fasting

made it seem like the fasting mth this yr is too short.

I feel guilty for not performing the obligations

as strictly as I would want to.

but when I ask the others if they felt the same way,

most concurred.

wonder why.

it felt slightly weird,

changing a sum of money to the stack of smaller bills,

folding it, and putting it in the sampul.

felt. grown-up.

reminded me of the conversation I had with

my 2 gal pals last nite at soffz’ place.

soffz commented tt me n habz’ getting insurance plans

was such a grown-up thing to do.

and all tt talk abt dates….

wadever happened to talking abt nick carter (okayyy,

yours truly had a MAJOR crush on this bloke wayyy back then)

or about them Victorians (ok, not my cuppa tea tho)

or huever I was hanging out with during my sec sch days?

as we went on abt jobs, future plans, prospective mother-n-laws,

I couldn’t help but take a step back,

and think abt wad happened in between.

habz’ career is taking off and I couldn’t be more happier for her,

soffz is forever the adventurous girl and is going to spread her wings very soon,

and me, the one who wants a stable everything – career, family, marriage, frens.

I could see the qualities that we possess since our sec sch days,

Taking its form in us.

I just couldn’t believe tt it’s all happening so soon.

Well, not tmr, or next mth kinda soon, (for me at least)

But soon, down the road.

But I support my girls in wadver they want to do and achieve.

Just like I know how they are praying, hoping, wishing,

that my plans will materialize very soon.

I’ll miss you girl, but I pray that you’ll achieve your dreams.

Gambatte!

2007-10-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

we need a VOICE.

4PM won numerous awards because of its dynamic grp of volunteers,

yet sadly, dun you feel that these days,

we arent being heard?

yes, events are still going on smoothly,

thanks to our resilience and the support of SOME staff,

but we cant deny that we are facing mountains,

and gorges, so many obstacles,

that lies within the organisation itself.

To me, the 'congratulations' and "job well done",

is pretty pathetic compared to the frustrations,

anger and lack of support we all seem to be facing these days.

I feel, that we need a VOICE.

a voice to speak of our concerns,

our frustrations, our tears.

a VOICE that signifies what 4PM is all about.

the strength of its volunteers.

but before that dear friends,

let us look into ourselves,

because I cant do this alone.

strength always come in Unity.

and we, NEED, MUST, be united,

to have a SOLID VOICE

that rings out loud and clear.

That is the very least we can do

to the casualties who have been going off,

one by one,

forcibly or by choice.

The ones who have been kind and supporting,

but are overshadowed by the ones who know

how to speak ill of others.

The latest casualty will be leaving us soon.

It is about time, we stop suffering in silence.

We Need A Strong United Voice.

I sincerely hope for your support.

2007-10-04T08:12:00.000+08:00

the lighter side of ROW.

the last post was abt the sob stories.

but ROW has its fair share of joy too.

it's like holding a mass bonding/iftar session.

for me, you know i don take sides.

i love my P2R and my LYF family all de same.

kata 4PM volunteer kan??? (tt should answer ur qn shahril. =p)

so to have both of them under one roof,

i'm happy.

just do the normal ignorance when i hear pedas2 stuff ah.

=)

BUT... ROW this yr has its own share of scandals tau.

tak caya????

come, I show you..

for the first time,
i showed off my son and hubby. *blush*

and my mini cooper.
dun mind de menyibuk ppl.

BUT, little did I know,
HE

had his own story to tell too.

Lifestyle of the Rich and the Famous.
(ignore khai's sememek face in the middle. hehe)

If i simply sat in a mini,
he had his own to drive. (ader lesen tak?)

tak sangka, dlm senyap2,

this is wad u have been doing behind my back ehhhh.

girls, u got my back right?

not just them ah, i'll call all de lyf peeps if i have too.

klu tak puas jugak,

i'll call all de 4PM volunteers ah!

tau takut... dah. tak nak geng ah. blueeek.

hehe. k la, main2 je.

actually the guy and the baby were my original car mates,

before i switched cars.

and that mini cooper i was in is theirs.

the woman with Is is a wife of an MP.

the mini cooper he was 'driving' is hers.

heheh. k la, have a nice day.

i'm having a bz one today,

despite still being sick aft coming back from mc.

haiz.

2007-10-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

ROW 2007

iftar, the night before.

to geylang for tudungs, the night before.

with green tudungs, tired and looking drunk, after the event.

ROW, for the uninitiated, is short for

Ramadhan-on-Wheels.

Volunteers were divided into groups of 4-5,

and drove all over Singapore to send provisions

to 170 low-income families.

Each group were given 3-5 houses to go to,

to be completed and assemble back for iftar

either at the mosque, and some got a chance to break fast

at the client's house.

my sis and her bf took part as well.

i love it cos all de ppl i am close to were at the event.

but most importantly,

it was a humbling experience for me.

i learnt that life is very much unexpected.

that one moment you can be all loved and stable,

the next, you can end up alone.

i learnt to be thankful for my blessings.

cos there are other ppl who need more help.

i learnt to appreciate the little things in life.

things that we may take for granted,

other ppl can only dream about it.

i learnt that there are some people who just fall through the cracks.

no help is given, they dunno where to go.

i do sincerely hope that our efforts did manage to put

a little festive cheer in their hearts.

and that we all go away with meaningful and valuable life lessons.

here's to more ROWs to come. =)

2007-09-27T15:59:00.000+08:00

reflect.

on a few occasions this week, i thought back of what life was like before.

the ups and downs.

de crazy moments, and the sombre, earth-shattering ones.

the depressive episodes.

how many of you have said/thought, "i wish i hadn't done that"?

well, someone close to me keeps telling me tt

it's the one thing I should never say/think/feel.

Because, no one wants to make mistakes,

but once the deed has been done,

it becomes sth we learn from.

on the other hand, when i hear of fun crazeee moments

other ppl ard me spent partying, spending late nights out,

living life on the edge and painting the town red,

i'd find my life boring, dull and mundane.

i'd wish for my old life back.

it's then tt i pause, and count my blessings.

to have a loving family, caring friends, attentive partner,

a job tt revolves ard innocent kids,

and volunteer work tt keeps me happy.

and there's nuthing better i could ever ask for.

so when in doubt and at the crossroads,

it certainly helps to count your blessins. =)

2007-09-25T11:03:00.000+08:00

sth new.

decided to change the layout,

cos although de previous was cool,

it was also kinda irritating

i think i will publicise first.

SSP IFTAR ON SUNDAY, 30th SEPTEMBER

it will be at SIMPANG BEDOK.

Is and me will be reserving for 15-20 ppl.

so if you are joining, pls inform us okayyy? thankiew. =)

i'm just so busy these days.

i bet i wun be buka-ing at home this whole week.

i've onli been to geylang once on de 2nd day of puasa.

feel like going again,

but after a long day at work, jostling with the crowd is

hardly my idea of how i would like to spend the rest of the day.

BUT... i bought baju raya for the whole family oreadi.

i went to jb over the weekend to get it over and done with.

so it's apple green this year.

so wad's left is to get little things like cushion covers, yada2.

wanna take the load off my parents' this year.

let them concentrate onli abt de food. =)

2007-09-11T08:30:00.000+08:00

teachers.

being back in school, although not as a student,

kinda makes me feel nostalgic at times.

Teachers' Day was 11 days ago,

but I was too caught up with stuff,

that I didnt do anything for any of my teachers.

I know that hazz was collecting msges for cikgu fauziah,

but I decided not to join tt.

I know she was a very popular and inspirational teacher,

but truth be told, I cannot remember much about how

she impacted my life.

or how she was in class. or anything like tt.

this despite being damn gd in malay. LAST TIME.

all i can remember was tt i was asked to read my karangan

out loud to the class because i had gd marks.

but knowing how buruk my spoken malay is,

i'd refuse.

However, yesterday, after 7 long years,

I sent a 'thank you' email to the teacher who has touched my life.

the one teacher tt was the catalyst to the turning pt in my life.

I often speak of him on occasions when I was asked to

talk about someone who has changed my life, or sth along those lines.

but I have never thanked him in person. So yesterday, I sent an email to my

Sec 4 form teacher, Mr Tay Yong Hwee.

I have no idea if he has the same effect on my other

ex-classmates, and I know I have to credit my drastic change to myself for my

hardwork, and to my besties for telling me tt I could do it although my studies

suck really, really bad.

But Mr Tay was very motivational, and shows his care and concern

in his own special way. Maths was my favourite subject in primary school,

but in secondary school, I had difficulty passing it.

And with tt, goes my confidence, and all my grades were affected.

I remembered telling him I couldn’t do it, I am not

even sure I can get into a polytechnic, my grades,

and effort were gd enough to get

me into ITE. But he believed in me, he saw potential in me,

something I couldn’t see at that point of time.

Sometimes, all it takes is for one person to believe in you.

For O Levels, I got an A1 and A2 for my emaths and amaths respectively,

from F9s back in Sec 3.

So I wrote all that to him. And he replied a few hours later.

I didn’t expect him to remember me, but he did. =)

“I remember you,
Sec 4S has always been a special class to me.”

So to all teachers out there, believe in your students, motivate them,

because you will never know how life-changing it can be for them.

Unless they write you an email 7 yrs on.

2007-09-10T08:44:00.000+08:00

back here.

back at work.

although i didnt go on a holiday,

i think i spent some quality time here and there.

so much so tt i am dreading every minute sitting in my

chair in the office right now.

5.30pm, come quick!

had a long chat with him last nite.

i think he worries too much abt me.

don worry babe, i'll be fine.

nampak je kecik, tapi i'm strong k.

i dont wish to share the personal things we discussed,

but one minor agenda tt he brought up

was his fear tt i would get caught in "crossfire"

and get blamed for relaying info from one party to another.

to tt, i assured him tt i am 23, not 13.

i guess we cant stop tongues from wagging,

but we can stop ourselves from swaying due to hearsay.

well, that, and the fact tt i have to pay bills,

provide for my family, concentrate on my career,

plan my future... too many important things to worry abt,

rather than get involved in petty, adolescent-like,

emotionally-charged squabbles.

so don worry so much k babe. =)

2007-09-09T12:24:00.000+08:00

LYF Children's Day 2007

Yesterday was Children's Day.

Believe it or not, it was my first time as a faci.

First time I'm not in committee. =)

I have to admit tt I was nervous,

I mean I know it's stupid, being a primary sch counsellor and all,

but I am more comfortable one-on-one,

and if it's in a group, I'm much better with sec sch kids.

But, I think all my doubts were instantaneously erased yesterday,

and I think I'm one of, if not the craziest, faci yesterday.

My group were all hyper kids, and their energy got passed on to me as well.

And I would have to thank my competent co-faci, Shahril,

for managing the group well despite his first attempt being with kids.

During the debriefing, we were asked if we had met our objectives as facis.

I reflected on that, albeit my tired/sleepy/fatigue mode,

and concluded that I did it!

My group didnt win any prizes, but that didnt matter,

cos my main objective was to made sure that everyone felt comfortable with everyone

else, and that everyone had a role to play, and to maximise

every moment as a teachable moment.

I managed to look beyond their shortcomings,

and concentrated on their strengths, and made sure that I paid equal attention

to each and everyone of them.

The kakaks in the group helped me out a lot too,

Faezah, Suraya and Lela.

Basically all I did was to er, shout and be crazy to pump their mood up.

Not so much as to lead. hehe.

by the way, congrats to the darling bf for giving his best

at his first shot in a committee. =)gd job babe!

Well, enough talking. Here are the pix.

Credit goes to Liyana. Nanti I nak tunang/kahwin I will get u and Sham

to be my official camera/video ppl of the day okay? hee.

However, I was a bit disappointed at how the day ended.

I won't go much into details, but I hope those reading this entry

of mine would read my comments with a pinch of salt.

Especially those who were there yesterday.

I guess at my age, with my choice of career,

I was a bit dumbfounded at the choice of words/comments/display of emotions

which I felt were a bit unnecessary.

Maybe I'm new, being only a volunteer with this organisation for ard 1.5 yrs,

so I do not share the same deep rooted emotions some of them have.

But I hope everyone would reflect, and at the end of the day realise

that we are all here, regardless of which department we support,

regardless of our education background, socio economic background,

with our common purpose.

To help, heal and hope.

We dont get a penny for that.

So when Aida, who was sitting beside me asked if I was affected,

I think I turned to her, smiled and said,

"No. I might be the vice-chairman of sth else, but look wad T-shirt I am wearing now.

Because at the end of the day, I am a 4PM volunteer.

and when the time comes, I will still get married and have other obligations."

I guess the boyfren of mine felt sorry for me,

and was a bit unhappy, but I had to assure him with the same words I used

when he joined 4PM.

That at the end of the day, we join not because of name/power,

but to give back to the community for the blessings that we have,

and our only reward is the satisfaction we get at doing that.

And we will hopefully still continue doing volunteer work,

be it for LYF, P2R, 4PM or any other organisation.

2007-08-30T09:02:00.000+08:00

vent. vent. vent.

i'm going to sound totally unprofessional but i don care.

i think once i get it out of my system,

i'll be able to do my job well.

there's this woman who made me hate myself for quite a while,

for making my darling kiddos go without proper food during

a recent camp.

those who know who i am talking abt, you would know the ordeal

we all went through.

but i wouldnt let her affect my passion.

i'm not gonna shy away from organising any more events.

so as you all know, i am in the last stage of preparation

for hip hop fest that is going on this saturday at RP.

everything was going well, de video clip, de turntable,

the scratching, the confetti. (although i agree tt it was stupid

to purchase manual confetti when there's no proper stage. but then again,

it wasnt me who bought it although it was my job. so guess who)

BUT, yesterday, 3 days before the event,

SHE told me that SHE sent MY clip for editting to include other aspects.

And the best thing is, i only finished doing the editting 3 hrs back,

and I dont remember giving anyone a copy.

So the copy that SHE has, and very conveniently sent out to her BF (yes, again)

is My first 5 minutes of editting using another staff's computer.

I dont understand why SHE has to MEDDLE in other ppl's department.

HER job is to support the comm, not to jump in and try to 'save' us,

like she did the last time.

It's like the saying "Bagai tikus membaiki labu".

or wadever. SHE just makes things worse.

And if the launching screws up, I am not gonna be the nice girl i was

the last time and blame myself.

Because SHE is to be BLAMED. Because SHE took things into her own hands.

there. I feel better.

2007-08-29T07:44:00.000+08:00

de hardest part.

just a short update before i start my day.

i was looking out seeing all de kids run/jog.

why are they so full of energy?

god, if someone told me to run up and down the school,

i certainly wont be that enthusiastic.

but hey.. *reminisces* those days, we ran ard de sch,

AND cheered. how was tt ever possible? i dunno.

it's been a crazy 2 weeks or so.

I cant wait for sch to be out on a break,

and hip hop fest to be over.

at least for childrens' day, I'm not in de comm.

so not tt bz.

i crash on bed 15 mins after i get home each night.

my usual night calls to de bf had to be rudely disrupted,

by yours truly.

I've never been this tired in a while.

still trying to stay strong for all my work to be done.

a few more days, nurain. hang on.

2007-08-12T08:52:00.000+08:00

my little getaway.

so work took a toll on me.

school/work took a toll on him.

we decided tt it hasnt been healthy for our relationship,

or even for us as individuals.

we didnt have de time to plan any elaborate getaway.

but i loved how we spent yesterday all the same.

i'll let the pix do the talking. =)

yup. we went to island.

thanks to shaz&aidil

who wrote abt it in their blog once.

we had a greaaattttt time.

we took the ferry from marina south pier.

it's nice to be dere too.

i think we will definitely go back there. yeay.

2007-07-28T15:15:00.000+08:00

23 days later.

i haven updated for 23 days. hurhur.

i've been procrastinating.

i'm so glad i got to stay home today

to catch up on some stuff.

like sleeping. blogging. family.

and shit. my essay. due in a couple of days' time.

life hasnt been good.

no thanks to some very anal ppl.

who are obviously not my frens.

tt is one quality i wun like in a fren, god forbid.

Is keeps telling me to suck it in, and

he's been there for me all this while.

thanks babe.

he suggested i confide in my family too,

but i wun want them to worry abt me.

so i am gonna solve it my own way.

i remember telling someone, a very long time ago,

"if you step on my toes,
i'll make you crippled for life"

i guess it's the mantra to live by. at least for now.

ok. done with the ranting.

let's get on to the significant things and people.

7th July

an old friend got married.

she was a primary school fren of mine.

so it's an 11 yr reunion of me, her and a couple other frens.
(thanks Friendster)

I couldn't be there on Sunday, becos of my graduation and stuff,

so i was there on Saturday night instead.

Selamat Pengantin Baru Soraya, may you and your husband

be blessed with a lifetime of happiness! =)

8th July

the last time i wore the graduation robe was

in K2.

and on the 8th, i wore the real one.

words cant describe how i feel.

and to sweeten the whole deal,

8 of my most beloved people on earth were there,

seated at the 4th row from the front,

all in anticipation to watch me walk on the stage,

and get the scroll.

it couldnt have been any better.

i'm blessed.

the best thing is, i started the day with my grandma

knocking on the bathroom door as i was bathing, saying,

"Ain, ader nyonya hantar bunga colour biru..."

at 7am. and at 8am, the one who ordered the roses arrived,

decked in blue.

de rest of my family were in green, support Live Earth! heh.

and I ended the day exhausted, but with my best fren,

who I am sure, was happy to see her usually-lazy-unmotivated fren

graduated at long last. =)

9th July

tired from the night before,

but excited. 1st day at work.

unlike the whole environment, the kids are adorable.

and lovable.

at least that the's only reason i need

to do a good job. =)

14th July

visit to the grandparents' at Woodlands.

went with my family (except farhan), nenek and atak.

my uncle said that i shouldnt forget my grandparents

after i graduate.

he's right.

so after showing them my grad pix,

and having an uber delicious meal that left me bloated,

had a photo-taking session specially with them.

17th July

it's been a year.

=)

how time flies when u r having fun.

i wanna thank Liyana for accompanying me

on the mad dash all over Singapore to put together the gifts for him.

on her Gilera. hee.

albeit last minute, of course.

but i was satisfied as I put all the stuff into the big big box.

i hope u like it dear, just like i loveeee the prezzie u gave me.

but i love how he planned the day most. =)

happy 365 days silly. thanks for being one of my pillars of support.

27th July

it's my turn to be proud of him.

he won an award at TP's Award for Excellence.

although his mum and me were cold and hungry throughout

the 2-3 hour long ceremony,

we were soooo proud of our beloved boy laaa.. ehhe.

and yes gurls, i did talk in Malay to his mum.

aren't u all proud of meeeeee.. hehee.

continue to work hard okay darling.

alright. tt took me quite a while to get everything down.

til de next update!

2007-07-05T13:29:00.000+08:00

girls!

coincidentally, 2 of the gurls tt i first

bonded with in ssp are celebrating different

occasions ard de same time...

so i would like to take the opportunity to wish:

a very happy birthday to the capable,
sweet, talented and gung-ho biker gurl Liyana!

my heartiest congratulations to the pretty,
cheerful, passionate and darling nurse Nisa!

ps: sorry i stole ur grad pic from ur blog. hehe.

love u gurls! *muacks*

2007-07-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

anticipation.

i have to admit tt i am so freakin anxious

abt my posting next week.

it'll help if i haf other counsellors ard.

but since every sch has just 1 full time counsellors,

i am gonna have to go thru tt alone.

but before tt,

i have my graduation on de sunday.

it's funny tt i'm going for graduation

onli now aft completing sch in december.

i have no idea who i am graduating with for tt matter,

but i dun give a hoot cos

my loved ones will all be dere.

yeay.

oh sth funny happened yesterday.

de boy was supposed to pick me up aft class,

and he got dere super early.

since it's de last day of lectures

before we all resume our duty at our respective schs,

we wanted to take a class photo.

someone asked me "but who is gonna take our photo?"

den i remembered my sweet bf downstairs.

so i called him up.

de moment he walked thru the door of my class,

everyone (who were already in their photo-taking positions)

gave a loud, collective "WAHHHHHHH" when they saw him.

he claimed he heard someone go "so handsome"

but whether tt's true? onli god knows. hehe

i think he was quite overwhelmed at the number of ppl staring at him,

tt he was shaking as he was holding de camera. haha. cartoon sey.

anyway, we watched transformers yesterday.

i loveeee it soo much tt i think i might watch it again.

brings out de child in me. =)

2007-07-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

those days.

this is coming from the girl who grew up

with frens who told her that she would grow up different,

even though we all started off the same.

when we all did the same things, made de same mistakes,

ppl still look up to me cos i did well for my studies.

i was lucky that God blessed me the family who supported my academic, all de way.

but, my childhood frens were right.

while they went on to schools a stone's throw away from our pri sch,

i endured the 45 mins bus ride to a girls' sch.

from hanging out at the void decks, to just a cheery hi and bye,

and even that became just a nod to acknowledge my presence.

just because we turned out different.

most envied the way i am now,

but to me, i am no different from them.

it's just that i am given so many opportunities that they werent.

i'm sure if they were given as much opportunities as i did,

they'd be different too.

i'm no elitist.

i'm still that girl-next-door.

i still feel uncomfortable ard hoity toity ppl

and i still love my childhood days best.

maybe i am reliving all that right now,

being with a guy who has lived through the same childhood with me.

de bf went to the pri sch right beside mine,

and i absolutely love the times

when we reminisced abt the primary sch days,

the things we did, the places we go to.

simply becos it'll be de exact same things. or almost.

it's just that aft 12 yrs old, we went on to different paths.

i lived the "what ifs" listening to his life aft tt,

as he did mine.

things i have never ever ever experienced before in sec sch and beyond,

i listened almost in amazement.

de sch culture so different from mine.

sometimes i wonder, what if i had followed my heart

and got into a sch near home,

instead of following my frens' advise to go to cedar.

how different would i be?

i guess that will just remain a what if.

2007-06-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

big girls dont cry.

i like this song by fergie, a lot.

anyway, day started off like crap.

but i have a few loved ones to thank for making my day.

my nenek, aunt and de bf. thanks =)

at times like this, i miss my late grandpa.

anyway, aft that, i had loads of fun shopping at vivo.

i wanted to get a formal shirt to wear for graduation.

and Is wanted to get a bag.

we said Hi to suhailah too! =)

ate new york pizza (cos yest i went there with ryu n Is jelesss)

and den he bought his bag at zinc.

i saw 2 shirts tt i like, it's almost similar design,

and 1 is black, one is white. couldnt decide which is nice.

so bought both. wonder if i should post it up so tt u all can decide for me.

anyway, we were so engrossed in ourselves and shopping

that we didnt realise its raining.

by de time we got back on de road,

it poured all de way to tamp.

and i was still happily drinkng my ice blended mocha. hehe.

headed back to tamp to get my fav maggi goreng,

and den went home.

oh yea. i got for my dad a very belated prezzie for fathers' day.

and here are some pix of todayyyy....

2007-06-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

i haf a lot in my head.

but i dunno how to put it into words.

so let it be sth i keep close to my heart.

i just hope i'll figure out wad to do soon.

it's definitely not easy being an adult.

anyway.... it's been a long time since i posted

pictures.... so here u go!

i spent duno how many dollars playing dis sweets jackpot game
before i got my hands on the 2 winnie the pooh bears.
but i'm happie i got it la. hahaha.

our attempt at being romantic. haha.
and my first couple ring hokay.... despite de many rel'ps i've been in. =p

4 days 3 nights, and those are de onli pix tt has me inside.

tt shows how much i wasnt ard, cos i was alwaes somewhere doing sth.

hehe. but i am glad la, tt i did my best. =)

and altho my muker ronyok for most of de pix, jadilah eh...

haha. now i better get well soon.

i'm so tired having to take so many pills. grrr.

2007-06-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

silence.

i lost my voice.

and aden, it's worse than urs.

cos one day after the post mortem,

nothing came out when i tried to talk.

i whispered all de way.

so last night, i had to take mc. no choice.

so i went to the doc's,

and i whispered to him la.

i requested for a day's mc.

he looked at me as if i asked for de mot ridiculous thing in the world

and said,

"i think u need more than one day to get that voice back. i give u another day"

but anyway, i plan to get back to work tmr.

even tho i am still on mc.

but i dunno if i should.

everyone thinks i am crazy cos i am still sick.

but i got so much to do.

haiz.

but my colleague msged me just now.

she said sth like we might not have to go back to work

on wed n thurs cos it's meant for group project.

which means if i don go tmr,

i will be missing 4 days of work in total.

should i be happy abt tt?

i dunno.

anyway, post mortem went great.

i insisted on going even tho i was having fever.

i didnt touch all de food at all.

=( i am so eating a lot when i get better.

i agree with liyana, tt ths is de best post mortem

i ever went for too.

love it.

everyone was in high spirits,

maybe becos there wasnt any negativity source of energy. hehe.

1st day of tuition on de 8th, but i will not be ard.

my sis n Is too. cos they'll be at my graduation.

nisa n mariam n ryu, although u guys will no longer be dere every sun,

u are still required to lepak2 with us once a while.

hehe, mcm memaksa pulak eh.

i heard some of u guys going for integration camp.

best nyerrrr. actually i can go la.

but den, sakit belum baik, and i might need to meet up with project mates.

grrr.

enjoy eh korang. if i get bored, i crash. am i allowed? hehee.

next project would be my pet and maiden 4PM project i did last yr,

HIP HOP FEST.

it's a must do for me, because it had a lot of memories.

but my partner su is no longer in 4PM... =(

heard tt this yr, i haf 3 or 4 more working with me for PR & PUBLICITY.

great. at least i noe one of them is liyana. de more de merrier.

i love hip hop fest. last yr was happening!

mum had a talk with me.

it's a bit personal to put it up,

but aft tt, it made me wonder on a lot of things.

and how quickly i am growing up.

but i am not alone.

he's dere, and so are all my frens.

insyaAllah it'll all work out.

things are getting more clearer as days go by.

i pray that it will all go smoothly.

i just need support from all my loved ones.

2007-06-19T12:02:00.000+08:00

more than words.

i was reading blogs

like fatin's, aida's, nisa's..

den i realised i was tearing up.

but unlike during de camp,

where de tears were out of anger and frustration,

i was crying tears of happiness,

tt everyone benefited in their own ways during de camp.

it bonded us together.

i heart all de comm, facis n campers,

and now tt it's been 1 yr tt i joined ssp,

i can say tt i haf grown a lot with u guys,

thru ups and downs.

thank you for making de camp such a memorable experience.

i heart u all, de LYF family. =)

2007-06-18T15:21:00.000+08:00

Camp Dian 07

there's a lot i can say abt this camp,

but as i look back,

i can only say thanks for being so united,

comm n facis.

As Azlie's group sang,

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine,
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You never know dear,
How much I love you
Pls dun take
My sunshine away.

Love you All. Muacks.

2007-06-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Suzanah, this is for u! hehe.

1) Overview of main mental health issues facing Singapore students today.

This i got from hwee boon's email, one of the website link she provided:"16,487 children sought psychiatric help at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in 2002. 2,485 of them were newcomers. Of the children seeking help at IMH, 4 in 10 were suffering from a learning disorder or attention deficiency and only 1 in 10 from emotional disorders. (Source: The Straits Times, October 5, 2003) "

Then from here I plan to go on abt the learning disorders, and attention deficiency first. i think i can refer to my textbook and articles regarding this. there are some in the notes too. for example - dyslexia, autism, adhd...
den emotional disorders - this would be things like depression and anxiety disorders, attempted suicides. and this is of course mainly due to the stress our students face in the education system.

"35 percent of Singaporean children surveyed in UNICEF Survey 2001 said that getting good grades made them happy. Exam anxiety was one of the main causes of unhappiness among the children. Nearly half of the children surveyed said they would be sad if they did not perform to expectations in school."

all this can be referred to the notes we are given. so i think u can give a pretty decent piece for part 1 if u read through ur notes already.

2) How do I manage these problems as a counsellor?

case management
going back to lynette's notes abt case referrals, i can safely say that learning disabilities is a 100% referral case - first to the LSP (learning support coordinator) in our sch, and if the need be, maybe to CGC or Guidance Branch for testing.

3) Common types of psychological and behavioural problems in primary schools.

primary schools : 7-12 years old, mostly.
i found the last benny bong's lecture gd, the part where he broke the common problems down on one piece of mahjong paper.
"primary 1 - sch refusal, pri 2-3 - inappropriate behaviour, friendship, bullying (victim), learning difficulties... and so on."

and again these topics are covered in lectures. shirley tan's school refusal, for example.

4) How to deal with student who repeatedly fails tests and exam?

again, I will refer to lynette's case management and referrals, the part abt networking.
teacher, parental involvement important
to find out how is student's attendance, daily school work.

if it's bad, find out wad is going at home. make necessary referrals.
if attendance is gd, family is ok, but bad at academics, maybe student has learning difficulties. referral.
if it's mainly attitude, work with the student. empowerment, setting goals.
if borderline fail, might need to seek tutor. if family low income, might refer to family service centre or religious organisations for subsidised tuition.
to monitor frequently.

2007-06-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

why do tt?

i dunno who u r, why you did what u did,

u may have thought it was funny

to play tt lil prank on me,

u may haf really meant wad u said to me,

but i doubt u noe abt my life,

and what i went thru.

what u did might mean little to u,

but it opened up my old wounds,

memories i long to forget.

it was a lowly act, no doubt,

but there's always a positive side to things.

at least now i noe wad i'm lacking,

and what i need to improve on.

afterall,

what does not kill me, makes me stronger.

2007-06-07T14:47:00.000+08:00

after so long.

been wanting to update my blog,

but kept on procrastinating.

i wanted something very minimal and simple

and so i opted for this.

kinda reflects de way i am now.

it's good AND bad at the same time.

gd becos i'm not as volatile and unpredictable as before,

and bad because i seem to have lost the

loud, cheerful, flamboyant girl in me.

we'll see how things go.

anyway, i have never cared abt money much.

i mean, ok, i do need a certain amt of money

for things ppl do daily - eat, go out, transport, shop, blabla.

but i think i spend so little compared to other ppl. i hope.

and it's amazing how ppl seem to think tt no matter

wad they are earning, it's never enough.

i see how working women shop.. oh my gosh.

like seriously.

i believe that de more u earn, de more you'll spend.

so it's not how much u are earning but how well u manage ur finances.

i'm still learning how to.

it's hard to be a lil money minded sometimes.

anyway, life has been a bit caught up in daytime soap real life soap operas,

which i hope will stop soon cos i dun want to waste my life

dealing with issues tt'll bring me down.

i hope de prob will solve itself. it's a lil tiring.

anyway, if u guys are interested to now wad i am up to,

there's that calender section i put up. with dates on it.

to let frens noe when to bother me and when not to.

heh.

will write again another time. bye.

2007-05-13T10:06:00.000+08:00

to everyone who endured a bulging tummy for 9 mths at one time.

Happy Mothers' Day You Guys!!!

I'm not one yet, so I dun get any prezzies,

BUT....

it's my first payday! yeay!

so i bought prezzies for mum, nenek and aunt.

but i feel bad cos it's not onli mothers' day,

but also my first payday,

so i bought/gave sth to the guys, n my sister, too.

thanks darling for accompanying me to buy all those stuff yesterday.

hehe. poor thing, have to carry and pack so many things to his bike.

besides tt, this week i'm quite happy.

work is okie, de last 2 days were at east coast road instead on orchard,

so i didnt have to take public.. hehe.

AND...

i met liyana, ryu, aida at simpang with Is on thursday.

and terserempak with mariam n nisa on friday, and ended up chillin' at pacific coffee, vivo.

and yesterday, aft de shopping spree,

me n Is met de usual 2 guys for.... aper lagi, settlers la!

later going 4PM, den going home straight k.

cos it's mothers' day... and tmr 'm working anyway.

unless de girls want to hang out for a while.

lastly, i'm happpieeeeee becos....

heee. well, aderla. =)

haf a nice day everyone!

2007-04-26T13:10:00.000+08:00

family gathering.

okie, kak yana FINALLY uploaded de pix.

so here's a few pix from my family's gathering/camping

thingy at changi a couple of weeks back.

our crazy antics.

the first night.

we played twister, tried to build a human pyramid,

and we had a bday celebration!

too bad i missed out on de other 2 days though.

if not, i'd be joining them in this:

anyway, the reason why i can blog today is cos i'm off today. yeay.

will meet him later in de evening nearby cos we need to get some work done.

and motivation from each other la.

and tmr will be another long day at work.

will end de day at an FSC in hougang.

i miss my frens!!!!

2007-04-22T16:12:00.000+08:00

a quicky.

my packed schedule has been forcing me to

forgo the things that i am so used to doing.

like blogging, going out with frens,

looking forward to my sunday mornings at 4PM.

and i also forsake my family n bf in de process too.

i try to spend the days tt i dun haf other commitments

or outings with Is, at home.

that would mean after work.

and when ur work is actually endless emotionally draining

trainings, you come home feeling extremely worn out.

and that would mean tt i'm not my hyper self at home.

thank gdness family haf been supportive n understanding.

and meeting Is is usually for dinner, trying to talk/catch up,

and then home.

usually i'll fall asleep smsing him when i reach home.

and the poor boy will be waiting for my sms.

and lately, he has his other commitments too,

and school is starting tmr for him (study hard babe).

the middle of the week is the worst for me as i have other things

on after work, which means coming home at 11 and den crashing to bed.

i just hope that my loved ones would hang on til my training ends.

at least for the theory part. i still have de whole may to endure.

i'm glad that my family is understanding.

i'm missing my frens so much. those that i dont get to meet very often.

and i miss clowning ard with my 4PM girls cos i alwaes talk little these days.

and i know for a fact that i am neglecting my bf,

i'm so sorry dear, but thanks for tirelessly picking me up from wherever

i am almost everyday and sending me home. even if we dun get to hang out.

and if you guys are wondering why i have the time to blog,

it's because i'm waiting for Is to pick me up at 4PM.

yup. and tmr, the horrible cycle begins again. haiz.

2007-04-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

overdue, but still valid.

i just got de pics of de boy's bday party

tt i organised a month plus ago.

but as i look at de pics, i smile to myself

and i was brought back to tt day.

everyone was so happy.

even though it's tiring to lie to de person u love,

and doing it single handedly for most of de time,

i'm glad i did it.

Is, your gf rocks la eh. ahaha.

definitely sweet memories for keeps. =)

2007-04-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

i aint no superwoman.

i wish i could be dere all de time.

i wish i could work miracles,

and solve problems in a jiffy.

i wish i can calm u down

and make u smile instantaneously.

but i aint no superwoman.

it pains me to see u suffer.

i hope u noe.

i heart u.

2007-04-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

a gentle reminder.

someone reminded me tt it was a fren's bday on de 7th.

which suddenly got me thinkin of wad i told him

on his bday last yr.

"issit ur bday wish for me to break up?"

haha. wad a crazed up girl.

padahal he takde kene mengena with my relationship issues.

so it's been a yr since i wasted my tears.

i'm happy the way i am now,

but at de same time, de memory of it

serves as a gentle reminder for me not to be

complacent,

becos everything can change in a wink of an eye.

2007-04-06T14:13:00.000+08:00

emotions.

out of pure randomness,

i wanna illustrate a story.

of what happened at simpang one nite

aft work/tuition.

me and is decided to eat at simpang tt nite as usual.

and i was eating when Is made a comment.

abt someone near us.

and it's someone who is er... 'soft'.

sorry, not trying to me a homophobic here,

usually i dun care much.

but this one started checking Is out from head to toe,

and den making loud statements and actions

to get his attention.

it was den tt it came across to me tt my darling bf

has an admirer. awwww.

i was giggling away and Is looked so damn uncomfortable.

and i noticed tt everytime he placed his hand at de back

of my chair,

de person will roll his/her eyes.

which made me giggle more.

i was busy teasing Is...

de most funniest moment is when

the group wanted to leave,

everyone else walked in one direction,

but tt person came so close to Is.

i was trying my best to control my laughter

cos Is seemed to be oblivious to it all.

now i have competition.

so how awak, who are u choosing?

me, or he/she? =p

anyway,

to those who have been concerned abt my work,

i started on monday. my trainign i mean.

i'm de baby of de grp,

and everyone else has tons of working exprience,

and is married with kids.

it's a pretty challenging job.

but on de other hand,

it's been an enriching experience,

being with ppl with such diverse backgrounds,

and having such experienced trainers.

i just dun have much time to myself these days.

sorry to my family, n my silly boy.

hopefully it'll get better.

2007-03-31T23:37:00.000+08:00

pampered lil gf like me.

sungguh tak imaginative sey my title.

but eff care la eh.

you noe de bad thing

abt staying 4 blocks away from ur bf,

having a bf who has done ns,

him schoolin n workin so near,

him fetching n sending me to wherever i need to be at,

and de sweet walk home every nite from his carpark

to my house?

that when he goes away for de weekend,

i'm like a fish out of water.

luckily, managed to meet some galfrens.

friday nite was girls nite out at simpang

with liyana, ryu n aida.

i'm rarely at simpang with anyone other than Is,

so to have de waiters menggatal ard u

is kinda weird since they're super damn polite

everytime i am with Is.

haha. wonder how it's gonna be de next time i go dere with Is.

esp de waiter who came to our table for 10 times for de stupidest reasons.

but i had so much fun with all de girly talks

and dirty jokes courtesy of ryu,

and de occasional "maner mat2 sey?" courtesy of aida.

aku jugak baik. ahemz.

oh. met suhailah, who was dere with frens too!

today, i met mariam for lunch!

i missssss u loads la gurlfren.

she's alwaes so bz with lesson plans.

tapi just now terubat rindu skit.

hope to spend more time with her soon.

den met habz, and i took her to body shop sale at suntec convention ctr,

which was prolly a mistake,

cos we ended up with so many things,

and her going "let's sms each other everyday to use de stuff we bought"

considering i can get quite a few tops with de amt of money i spent,

yes habz, let's do tt.

tmr is 4pm tuition, camp dian meeting (? i think so), and tuition.

den i wanna go home n sleep sleep sleep.

so tt i can talk to de bf when he gets home,

which will prolly be ard 2-3am.

den i'm off to my first day of work.

wish me luck ppl. thought i would never step into another class again.

oh well. training in counselling, here i come!

2007-03-29T14:04:00.000+08:00

one word.

do you noe wad is everyone's biggest mistake?

ppl tend to want to succeed and do their best,

in almost everything we do in life.

sch, work, frens, relationships, wadever.

we're alwaes trying to one-up each other,

and at times, even ourselves.

so much so tt we forget that

it's the simple little things

that makes us truly happy.

oh gosh. i'm in need of my gurlfrens,

and loads of hugs.

thank you.

2007-03-28T14:54:00.000+08:00

warm up.

from monday onwards, i have to be out of my house

by 7.30-8 am for de next two months.

i'll be on course at either east coast rd (near settlers)

or orchard road (near paragon)

and aft de jume holidays, it's back to sch for me.

which means... flag-raising ceremony at 7.20 am.

for the next 3 yrs of my life.

i went for the briefing yesterday,

met up with de counsellors and principals of de schools.

yea, which means i met up with my boss.

it's pretty interesting yet intimidating at de same time,

hearing abt de course requirements.

interesting cos apart from being able to apply stuff

tt i learnt in uni like cognitive behavioural therapy

in my practice, i will also be learning new techniques

like art therapy. pretty cool huh.

de intimidating part is cos of cos the practicum,

cos in uni we didnt get to practice, it was all theory work,

and so de idea of video taping counselling sessions

for de whole class to analyse and comment on is nerve-wrecking.

and i am not talking abt whether i look gd on tv. haha.

i just hope it'll come naturally for me and i dun end up

being tt much of a dork.

besides that, i am THRILLED to announce that my june is free baby!

which means, it's green light for Camp Dian and the

much talked abt retreat at possibly Pulau Perhentian.

korang!!! i am joining u guys, excited tak? ahaha.

de past 1-2 weeks, i caught 4 movies.

Stomp the Yard - i actually wanted to watch cos of chris brown,

but then kan, i never read abt in online first, so i wasnt aware

that his character got murdered 10 mins into de movie. yup.

but, i enjoyed de movie all de same.

Mr Bean's Holiday - k, i dun like de guy. i found myself rolling

my eyes and switchin channels when he's on tv.

de bf's a huge fan, and dat puppy, doe-eyed pleading look he gave worked,

so there i was in de cinema.

luckily, it's not like de tv shows at all.

i think de other characters helped a lot.

and i thot de busking scene was de best. haha.

TMNT - dis movie, to me, was a disappointment.

it's ntuhing like de cool cartoon series tt we used to watch as a child.

i actually got bored. i didnt raelly like it.

altho michelangelo is still such a darling character. hehe.

Pursuit of Happyness - nope, it's not a typo, de movie title,

is 'happYness' instead of happiness.

i recommend this movie to everyone who didnt think much of it,

and decided to skip it.

i give it 2 thumbs up.

so touching... u all should catch it. really. really.

de bf will be away at kl this weekend.

but does tt mean de gf comes out to play?

nah, she grew out of all tt.

i'll be bz on friday, de besties on saturday,

and 4pm + stuff on sunday.

and monday is my first day of training.

and so... u all wont see me online often in de day anymore.

boo.

okie den, gtg get ready. muax.

2007-03-22T14:08:00.000+08:00

ladida.

i realised tt i haven been designing for a while now.

and de past 2 days, i've been an extremely lazy gal.

stayed glued to de bed n tv durin de earlier part of de day,

den go tuition, teach, den go back to bed.

i haven even gotten started on my blog project.

if anyone frequents my place (habz, soff, ryu..),

they would realise tt i have a very clean room

that seems to rearrange itself every mth or so.

that is totally mum's work.

her idea to surprise her very 'lazy' daughter.

(mum... have u been to other girls' rooms? mine's not THAT bad)

so anyway, when she installed de tv,

mum n aunt decided to surprise me by emptying out all my old notes,

and stuff. so irritating.

why? cos i think one of them threw out a library book tt i borrowed

under Is' name. (i haven been able to borrow a book in 3 yrs. hahha)

so kan... i have to report it missing. great. and pay for de book.

i have to start figuring out how one

balances between 5-day work schedule, 6 doses of 2-hr tuition each time,

4PM every sunday morning, and not compromise

time spent with family, frens n bf.

especially since my tuition kids love to cancel on me everytime.

2007-03-21T15:34:00.000+08:00

intermission.

i want to do a blog makeover.

i'm targetting by end of this mth,

i have sth new up.

i got my posting oreadi..

it's pretty near,

and VERY near where he's working.

so for de next 3 yrs of my life,

that's where i'll be.

hopefully it'll be a wonderful experience.

everyone's asking me abt my plans.

made slight changes to de original one.

i noe my family will give me their 101% support.

and de boy is supportive too.

just praying that de next few yrs,

everything will go smoothly.

this whole 4 mths have definitely matured me,

n i'm thankful of all de ppl i got to meet,

de places i've been, de stories i heard,

de experience i got from all this.

being spoonfed from sec sch to jc,

(which i think is a definite waste of time),

and den to uni, i hardly got any

hands on working experience.

so being thrown straight to de working world,

it was quite de culture shock,

but i am thankful tt my poly grads counterparts

helped me out a lot.

telling me where to start, wad to do.

of cos if i could turn back time, i wun go to jc.

it did nuthing to me.

de countless interviews, written tests,

and meet up with bigshots in de social work field,

was a definite eye opener.

it's amazing wad a mere 4 mths can do to me,

compared to de yrs in sch.

definitely more street-wise.

2007-03-15T19:13:00.000+08:00

time.

i've got abt half a mth left before...

i go back to sch! yeay!

cant believe i am excited. ahaha.

but yea, i am.

who wouldnt when u get paid to go for

a 6 mths course, and get a diploma at de

end of it?

plus i've alwaes wanted to learn de technicalities

behind counselling.

i noe as long as you've got de heart n patience,

you have de potential,

but u need de skill to be really effective.

tt aside, i'm so happy tt someone passed his exams

with flying colours.

was smiling when i got an sms of his results

at tuition yesterday.

so pleased with him tt we went for a last min movie date today.

he's been wanting to watch 300.

i hate blood, gore and violence.

and de movie is full of tt. plus naked women.

why's there no naked men? hollywood. *rolls eyes*

i am thinkin of either,

1) giving up blogging for good,
2) password-protecting this blog, or
3) move to a more secure place like wordpress or multiply.

still thinkin abt it.

still unsure wad to do.

anyway, i wanna have a chalet,

and have a couple of relaxing days.

but... who is free besides me? ahaha. i don think anyone is.

reminds me of the time when me n habz overnighted at sentosa.

a totally girly date. hehe.

oh well. not much free time for all tt now.

my frens are all bz. all moving to adulthood.

oh well. time sure flies.

2007-03-13T10:47:00.000+08:00

happiness all ard.

1. Educational Trip - Blast from the Past.

we took our SSP students to Labrador Park, Bt. Chandu and Changi Museum n Chapel.

Ryu was de comm head, and ctz, me, sidiq and zaima were in de team.

the tutors and volunteers were of great help.

thanks guys.

de heat was unbearable, and we had to walk for quite a distance,

but we all had fun. =)

here are de pix, thanks sidiq!

2. Birthday Surprise for the Silly Boy at Settlers.

Venue was at Settlers Katong, from 6plus- 11pm.

this is how what happened de whole day yesterday.

9 am - i woke up, cos soff msged. she's picking me up at 10.30.

10.30 am - ain n helmi called. confirmed wad time to meet them to pass de cake.

11am - soff picked me up from my house.

11.15 am - reached tanjong katong complex. bought stuff for de cake.

12 pm - reached soffz' place. started making bday muffins.

2+ pm - started with de icing.

4 pm - finally cake all done, and packed.

4.45 pm - managed to bathe n get ready at soffz place despite de many smses and calls.

5 pm - met ain and helmi at bedok to pass them de cake.

5.20 pm - reached Is' block. got de blinfold ready.

5.30 pm - blindfolded him when he came down. hehe.

5.40 pm - yes, 10 whole mins to get him to walk to soffz car.

5.45 pm - soffz drove to de other side of de island, and back. Is was making a lot of noise. haha.

7 pm - reached settlers. my frens were already upstairs, and his closest frens were waiting for him at de entrance. others were reaching soon.

7.10 pm - finally opened his blindfold. hehe. de look on his face to see everyone was priceless!

7.30 pm - everyoen came, settled down, de bday boy blew out his candles aft de bday song.

7.45 pm - started playing games, in 3 groups. so much fun! everyone mingled with each other.
played 3 games in total.
de family game, twister (which only de boys dared to make a fool of themselves), and de hide and seek game (which i suck at. haha)
11 pm - everything ended. Is and me took de cab home.

i dun have de pix tho. i totally forgot all abt it. thank gdness some ppl brought digicams. will wait for them to pass de pix.

i would like to thank the ppl who came (hope i got everyones names..eheh) - Nisa, Mariam, Aida, Ryu, Suhailah and brother, Ain n Helmi, Nasrun n Aishah, Zay, Ammar, Hamdani, Aim, Wan, Mok, Salwa.

and...

Soffz for the great help de whole day! thanks a lot babe.

Ain n Helmi - for de paper crowns, bringing de cake over, and beign such a sporting couple!

Hamdani - for chipping in for de surprise, and contacting de frens.

Ryu - for helping with the booking.

Zahari - for layan-ing for needs to be fed with food and games!

Is would also like to thank everyone for making him feel lovedddd (awwww...)

haha. no la. he wanna thank my frens who came and tt he really appreciated everything.

he said he went smiling to work today. haha.

hehe. k la, i leave u guys with de one n only pic i took using my hp cam. =p

2007-03-12T10:10:00.000+08:00

aft 2 panadol extra, and hours of sleep later.

de educational trip was great.

even me, who hates de heat and learning abt history,

had loads of fun.

=)

but i'll talk abt it in another post.

for now,

i just wanna give a shout-out to the silly boy.

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY DARLING!

may you be blessed with good health,

and happiness all around.

yeay!

i think i'm much more excited than him tt it's his bday

today. hehehe.

okiela, i gtg. meeting de bestie soon =)

2007-03-08T12:01:00.000+08:00

the reason.

today i am staying home.

i am missing my partner-in-crime.

but... a reason to be happy at home.

look look!

before.

after.

tt's wad my bed area looked like before... and now.

took out 2 shelves...

and put in a flat screen tv.

yeay yeay.

spending de rest of this mth, when i am not

having any other commitments,

blissfully in my bed.

thanks mak and abah!

been busy with stuff lately.

with tuition, preparing for work,

4PM event and some other stuff.

tt's why no time to update.

and sorry if i dun layan u guys if i am online.

i'm prolly doing sth, or stoning in front of de comp,

listening to music aft tuition.

by the way, to those who have been asking me abt de job,

will be undergoing 6 mths training.

Diploma in Direct Counselling, starting 2nd April.

2 mths theory, and 4 mths attachment in sch.

after which, will be posted to a permanent school.

okies. tt's all. much love!

2007-02-28T16:21:00.000+08:00

safe here.

#1

i was online de other day,

when a fren of mine,

whom i haven been contactin in quite a while,

suddenly msged me in frenster...

sth like this:

"hey! i heard you are getting engaged! congrats!!!!"

i stared at the msg for de longest time,

not knowing how to react.

i almost didnt want to disappoint her by denying it.

but i did.

and i asked who she heard it from.

not surprised.

BUT, everything u say is a doa,

and since u chose to say tt to other ppl abt me,

hey thanks! =)

maybe it'll come true one day, who noes rite?

#2

today is the birthday of one of de most beloved guys in my life.

happy 15th birthday to my baby brother!!!

who is of course, NOT that much of a baby.

but still.

love u farhan! muax

#3

i got an email this morning.

Subject : Offer of Appointment for Full-Time School Counsellor

alhamdulillah. =)

#4

i know the song on my blog is irritating.

but i love de song!

to hear it properly, pause it first, let it load all de way,

baru play k?

the song has its own special meaning to me. =)

You'll Be Safe Here
Rivermaya
[Words and Music: Rico Blanco]

Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be

[Chorus:]

Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

[Chorus:]

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here

2007-02-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

comfort zone.

i'm too lazy to upload pix.

so this shall be a no-pix entry.

met de besties yesterday.

so happy to meet them.

i miss de sec sch days.

i get to see them and go home with them

almost everyday.

but i'm so glad they offer the

right amt of sanity to balance my life.

it was just 4 hours of sitting at century sq,

eating de delish prata and ice kacang,

sharing our problems, catching up on each other's lives.

but it was a well-timed meet up,

cos i felt so much happier aft tt.

Is met up with me and habz aft soffz left,

and it's funny to see them being amused at each other.

den he left to go study at sembawang.

and since tt, i barely got to talk to him til now.

cos he came home ard 2+ in de morning,

and when he woke up to get ready for another study day

at sembawang, i was already up and abt.

truth be told, i've never been with a guy who

treats his studies seriously.

i kinda dunno how to handle tt,

but i have to admit tt it's definitely a refreshing change.

i find guys who study kinda cute,

de way they try to absorb the stuff they're reading.

oh well, if u are reading this dear,

best of luck for ur papers this whole week k?

had tuition at 4PM just now.

so touched tt de girls asked if i'm ok.

=) thanks babes.

aft tuition, i didnt stay on for de workshop,

instead, i went to recce changi chapel and museum

with liyana.

we vroom vroom our way dere on her spankin' new red gilera.

it was a sombre and solemn affair dere.

i was supposed to think of a game for de kids dere,

but i couldnt really think any concrete one

cos de atmosphere just doesnt seem right for games yea?

but aft thinkin it thru, i had a few ideas.

which i thot was kinda kickass,

de fact tt it incorporates de whole sombre, solemn, serious mood,

of de whole place.

i aint gona disclose much details,

cos i want the tutors to participate as well.

but anyhow, ill haf to contact de person sometime this week

to see if the whole thing is feasible.

so.. aft changi chapel, we went to makan at bedok corner.

my family used to love going dere,

but nowadays i frequent simpang more than bedok corner.

(at this pt of time, i wanna ask. korang korang

yg tak tinggal at de east, where do u guys eat/slack eh? pelik.)

i had a graet day babe. thankiew =)

looking forward to more dates with u!!!

i gtg get ready for tuition in a while.

i'm really having a problem with one of my kids.

grrrrr.

it's like, its tiring being so concerned abt someone,

if tt person doesnt even view his prob at greater importance,

and higher priority. there's only so much i can do.

haiz.

2007-02-23T10:10:00.000+08:00

with a pinch of salt.

i cant believe my cheeks

is the root of all the unhappiness going on.

from the tags, to the bitter fight

in msn last night.

to the 4-5 people involved,

let's end it here k?

tak baik gado2.

lain kali i wun eat so much junk food

so tt i wun haf chubby cheeks,

den u all wun fight abt it k?

heh.

it's funny how i've changed over the yrs.

last time, if ppl step on my toes,

i'd have made them crippled for life.

metaphorically speaking, of course.

but when the fight last night escalated

out of control, i could onli sit,

read and watch ppl throw knives at each other.

again, metaphorically speaking.

i've got a few conclusions to make out of all this.

1. my chubby cheeks are the talk of the town. (heh, kidding)

2. it takes just one temper to flare before others join in.

3. when u 'shout' at each other, it's all in vain cos no one listens.

4. it hurts to be talked abt like u don exist when u r right there.

5. it sucks to have to make the ultimate decision tt will hurt someone.

6. it's true, at times, you got to be cruel to be kind.

7. but doesnt mean tt u can sleep at night after that.

8. there are things that are just beyond one's control, even if it's
technically urs. (like your own blog)

9. now i dun just have prominent cheeks.

10. i have prominent swollen eyes cos of crying and lack of sleep too.
so wun u guys talk abt that now?

whatever it is, let's end it here.

and i dun mean change to another topic,

like my jackass.

maybe we talk abt sth else,

like how i now haf the potential to be hejab iran's next top model. hehe.

smile people.

2007-02-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

great break.

love de chinese new yr break.

had a relaxin day today. =) thanks.

and so for de next 2 weeks,

God pls grant me de strength and patience

to be dere for Is during his exam period.

he gets quite moody.

tt's normal, i guess.

anyway, here are de overdue pictures.!

2007-02-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

heartwarming.

had an obstacle to overcome earlier this week,

but that has been settled.

i'm starting to love de whole

new way of solving probs.

less taxing on de mind n body.

and to the girl who was dere for me,

thank u babe. =)

so, 14th feb.

we had an impromptu bbq.

i was initially upset cos i was late for tuition,

rush here n dere, kene scolded for nuthing,

and end up to be told tt there's no tuition.

great.

he picked me up, we were wondering wad to do,

so we decided to head to TM's ntuc,

bought marinated chix, hotdogs, titbits,

drinks, and basic bbq needs.

den went to pasir ris park to one of de shelters

and did a mini bbq.

just de 2 of us.

it was his first time out on a date for vday,

so tak kene tempat a bit,

but in de end, he loved de day so much.

plus, i successfully taught him how to start a bbq.

on de 16th,

teman ryu shopping.

where she had her first lucky plaza's ayam penyet.

den zaimah joined us. supposed to recce botanical gardens,

but.. changed plans, ended up having coffee at paragon.

made a new fren, some guy working dere.

well, not exactly a fren. BUT, he's funny,

and big. and jolly.

like a malay version of santa claus.

when i wanted to get out from dere,

he said this "nak balik kape joy?"

haha. i hate it when ppl call me tt.

well, only person calls me that when he wants to irritate me.

yes de dearest bf.

esp when i cant make a decision where to go.

he'll alwaes go.. "nak gi mane joy?"

why Joy?

why not... jane, or sally, or tina?

these mats. i can never understand them. heh.

anyway, bf picked me up from paragon.

it was raining, so as always, when we have nuthin better to do

at town,

we head to borders, psychology section, and browse

through a few books together.

it's definitely one of my favourite things i do with him

when i go town.

den we had dinner at arnolds.

when i got so bloated afterwards, i couldnt even get up de bike.

17th, had tuition in de afternoon as usual.

thot had no plans,

but went to east coast with habz for a while.

she made me feel realllyyyy old.

by musing abt how old de age 23 seems.

haiyoooo.

18th, yesterday,

i woke up at 10 am with a start.

cos i remember there were plans to go picnic.

turns out no one really planned it properly.

so, i asked liyana if she wanted to go east coast.

liyana woke ryu up.

and ryu woke mariam up.

and 2 hrs aft i woke up, i was on my way to

de very last minute picnic.

WHICH WAS A HELL LOT OF FUN!

ryu brought boggle.

which de kakak2 graduate-tapi-jual-anggur

won every round.

den we played pepsi-cola 123.

like monkeys.

and me and mariam would alwaes be up

against each other all 3 rounds we had.

and we had loads of food,

and as usual, great conversation.

den mariam had to go off with *ahem*

and so dere was 3 of us left.

those 2 gatal nak tgk sunset,

when in fact, it was a gloomy evening.

won be a nice sunset.

that was when... Is' family spotted me.

he told me his whole family bbq/overnite there,

but i raelly didnt expect to bump into them.

i was sitting with ryu n liyana,

when 2 of his siblings came up to me.

so... i met like... most of his family members.

cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents.

for de first time, de usually kecoh me,

got nuthing much to say.

just wished tt either my mum or Is was dere for moral support.

but i guess it was ok.

punyerla susah nak tak conversational malay.

mcm mat salleh celup maner ntah.

padahal i talk malay to my parents.

gugup agaknyer.

but i hope i did ok. did i?

ard 8, me n ryu left in a cab to leza's open house.

a very pregnant leza greeted us.

i keep looking at her tummy.

seems like yesterday

when we did all de crazy things together,

skipping classes to slack n dance de whole day.

and de performance we did where we all wore pink.

gosh. we have rreally grown up since.

leza was saying abt how small de world is.

turns out tt ezwan n azlie (who was dere) are her cousins.

and she's amused how Is (her sec schmate) ,

and me, (her first 3 mths schmate at tpjc)

are together.

whatever it is,

take care of urself back in aussie k?

i'll pray tt u haf a smooth n easy delivery.

and me n ryu will make u back here to get ur baby

loads of cute baby stuff in october.

too bad de picnic fotos n pic we took with leza,

is with liyana n leza, respectively.

bbq-ing the chix

waiting for food

arnolds chix. yumyum

the potato platter

what ryu did when it started to drizzle. bimbo!

don't puke k. hahaha.

2007-02-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

7th heaven.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes

And thank God we're together

I just want to stay with you in this moment forever

Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile

I don't want to miss one kiss

I just want to be with you

Right here with you, just like this

I just want to hold you close

Feel your heart so close to mine

And just stay here in this moment

For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

I don't want to miss a thing ..

Aerosmith, I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing..

2007-02-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

14th of February.

is like any other day except tt

i see flowers, chocolatez, teddy bears.. all over.

quite cute actually, to see guys holding

bouquets of roses in their hands,

their eyes darting ard in case one of their buddies

spot them lookin un-macho with those flowers.

hehehe.

and yes, i am going out with him today.

but i only got today to spend with him for this mth actually.

mebbe friday, but tt's not confirmed,

cos i will be making a trip to botanic gardens with de girls,

and might be meeting up with leza n ryu.

and during cny break, he'll be at work,

and aft tt, he's got his exams coming up.

i wun want to disturb him.

i got a letter.

to do my medical check up by end of this mth.

for de counselling post.

dang. i hate check ups.

and i got a call. another tuition job.

mum will kill me if she found out i took another tutoring job.

it's for A.MAths + E.Maths.

my forte.

think i can handle tt la.

but we'll see.

okies. i gtg siap.

wanna go 4PM and pass nisa my social psych book.

den go tuition.

by de way. happy valentines/frenship/wadever day.

it's ok if u don celebrate,

but i'm sure saying 'i love u' to ur loved ones

doesnt take much.

so. i love you. =)

2007-02-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

eden.

yesterday, he took me to yishun/seletar dam.

been wanting to go there with him for ages.

soffz took me dere a couple of times.

and i love the time we spent dere.

romantic laaaa.

but de next time we go,

i'll make sure we bring jackets,

and a mat.

cos kiter kan dah lah kurus, all bones, not much flesh,

den de wind so kencang.

and mat cos... there's no proper seating places.

maybe next time we bbq there. coolness. =)

but i really love the time alone with him dere.

=) or anywhere.

but i do miss going there with my besties.

maybe next time, yea?

2007-02-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

personal secretary needed.

this next few lines is for me to remember :

wednesday, tuition with ashada.

thursday, morn - interview at moe (counsellor),

aftnn (3.30pm) - interview at mcys (probations officer),

night (8pm) - tuition with hafiz.

friday, aftnn(2.30pm) - written test at mcys (family svcs officer)

(4.45pm) - interview at mcys (family svcs officer)

saturday (1pm) - tuition with ashada,

sunday (10am) - tuition at 4PM,

night (8pm) - tuition with hafiz.

breathe. ok. i can do this.

thank god i have an extremely organised bf,

who likes to tell me to prepare stuff in advance,

and who tries his damnest to ferry me ard for interviews,

and tuitions.

and family members (esp mum) who writes down

my appts so tt i wun be late. heh.

i am so not an independent person. haha.

anyway...

i caught the 2nd leg final with

azie n khai n later, yanto and someone else i cant rem who,

ryu n zul, Is n his frens - hamdani, aim and sharizal.

at first i found de venue kinda merepek,

but afterwards, i was so engrossed in de game tt i didnt care anymore.

and i love de company.

and shahril ishak was playing for de whole game. heheeeeee.

Is later complained tt i was so into de game tt

i barely acknowledged his existence.

hehe. sorry dear.

plus ppl kept shoving food in my direction.

hehe.

yesterday, Is wanted to eat doughnuts,

after hearing soff talked abt it.

so we went to raffles city shopping centre,

to Doughnut Factory.

BUT... he didnt hear de part where she said

abt de 3-hr long queue.

i did.

when we reached there, i cant believe we queued for 2 hrs.

we bought a dozen doughnuts,

and a meal each from BK,

and headed to de esplanade underground.

watched ppl dance.

and tt silly boy of mine, feeling feeling jadi judge

do you think you can dance/ the dance floor,

and commented on the dancing styles of each and everyone.

macam paham gitu.

but i was awed by this particular guy who danced like a dream.

in fact, we both were awed.

i miss dancing.

anyway, i didnt take pictures of us watchin the match,

but we did take pix

of our day yesterday.

2007-02-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

kecoh lar.

today is de start of SSP's tuition for this yr.

so happie to be with de makchicks again!

siang2 mariam dah show off her clumsy side.

sedap tak makan roti nutella with rose syrup?

haha.

and my sis has joined us.

which means... added kecohness, bitchyness and lameness

all ard.

lalala.

i'm in de educational trip comm with CtZ as de head,

and Camp Dian comm with Liyana as de head.

confirm gerek punyer!!!!

cant wait for tt.

supposed to have tuition at 8pm today,

but in all seriousness,

me n my tutee decided tt as singaporeans,

we haf to show some patriotism and national spirit,

and support our national team in tonight's game.

so, tuition.. cancelled!!!!

happy la.

might be watchng de match with ryu and azie,

with our respective guys.

if i dun get malas ah.

haha.

anyway, some pictures to share!

hanging out with de silly boy at vivo's pacific coffee

and my settlers/simpang outing with de gurls yesterday.

2007-02-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

my solace.

today, i met up with my besties.

and... de silly boy.

frankly, i had the jitters.

cos i promised myself,

tt after my previous failed relationship,

i'd ensure tt my loved ones,

my family and closest frens,

would approve of whoever i am dating,

instead of me trying to convince them.

sometimes u think u noe urself best,

but someone who loves and cares abt u,

will somehow noe hu u r compatible with and vice versa.

and.. de verdict is...

the LOVEEEE my silly boy.

i mean, habz has met him several times,

but its soffz' first time,

and their opinion really matters to me.

in fact, they conclude,

unlike everyone's (including myself) comments,

that my silly boy is NOT and DOES NOT look or behave like a mat.

hehe.

i had great fun today.

i love playing charoodles

although i still dunno how to act out an astronaut.

hmph.

and i love catching up at simpang.

i love them.

i love him.

i love my life. =)

thank you God.

2007-02-01T13:04:00.000+08:00

when de gf gets excited...

so yesterday was my virgin experience

of watching a soccer match at the national stadium.

i went with azie n khai.

those 2 lovebirds made me n Is feel really old.

while we were fussing abt sticking together

so tt we all wun get separated,

those two were like holding hands, taking a stroll in de park gitu.

oh well.

upon reaching de stadium, i started to get stressed

(much to de annoyance of de bf) abt de crowd.

i'm not really a fan of crowds and stuff.

tak pernah gi ndp pun.

to get gd seats, we had to be separated.

me n Is, at first, felt a lil lost.

but i guess we all are singaporeans.

it was all fun cos we sat amg some of de most enthusiastic

youths.

well, Is did.

i sat beside these 2 malay guys, at first i thot they looked fierce.

but throughout they match, they were as cool as cucumber.

they were like having a picnic.

fried sardine bread la, this la, that la...

in the end, both were sucking different coloured lollipops.

thank gdness i had my twisties and packets of drinks to depend on.

klu tak mesti i jeles.

either tt or i seduce my way to getting some food. haha.

anyway, being an 'adult' and all... plus de fact tt i am wearing

de tudung hence de unwritten rule to be extra lemah lembut and all

(which i am so not),

i thought i would sit quietly and watch de game.

but one kallang wave, led to another,

and de 'buto' cheer was so catchy and addictive, dun u all think so?

haha.

but thai team were being such babies.

and.. de fact tt my darling shahril ishak got to play.

makes me one happy, excited, and delirious girl.

in de end, i was jumping up and down like a monkey.

Is had to tell me to sit down.

but i had fun! plus singapore won, so yeay!

met up with habz n fadly for a short while before we lost them,

den took de train with sharifah mariam who went with her nie frens.

den me n Is headed to simpang for supper.

i think we ate too much snacks,

we were left bloated even tho we didnt order much.

by our usual standards.

fatigue made us took de cab home.

but it was a great day out.

i'm one happy girl.

maner la tau, next time ader rezeki,

i can go watch my beloved liverpool ke..

or watch de world cup ke... ehem ehem...

anyway.. pix!

in de bus, on de way to de stadium

at the asean cup final! woohoo!

a very happy me. =)

seee???? de guys beside me.. eat eat eat. ahaha.

much love <3

2007-01-31T15:17:00.000+08:00

one at a time.

haven been updating as much as i would like to.

truth is, i am exhausted.

not physically, mebbe mentally.

remember i said i scored an interview?

yup. went for it.

i swear it was nerve wrecking.

dere was 4 ppl, and me, in de huge meeting room.

u noe those big oval table u alwaes see when u watch dramas,

scenes of ppl having a meeting.

Imagine 4 big shots on one side and me on de other.

by big shots, i mean CEO, Director, Asst Director, Manager.

yeapz.

de whole process took 2 hrs.

de silly boy, who sent me there,

waited tt long til i am done.

i guess i'm glad he was dere for my very first job interview.

cos all de while i was thinking,

"lets get this over n done with, and den i can get

right back into de arms of my loved one".

haha.

and there was a 45-min essay test.

i thought i wrote crap.

den yesterday, a day after my interview,

i got a call. they invited me back for a second round.

today. so i went, and it was a 45 min one-on-one interview.

de lady was super nice, i cant stop talking.

mcm bebual ngan kawan gitu.

best ah.

even if i dun get de job, i am glad tt i had a gd first

interview experience.

and... aft my first round of interview,

i got a call from MOE.

invited me for an interview for de position i applied for,

a counsellor.

that's next week.

so besides teaching tuition, tt's wad i have been occupied with.

tt, and some other probs.

the past week hasnt been quite smooth sailing

as i would haf liked it to be,

but as long as i keep working on it n don give up,

it'll get better insyaAllah.

by de way,

met up with habz yesterday for lunch.

it was worth waiting for her to finish up her work,

cos i truly missed her so much.

my dearest auditor is soooo busy,

and i got a lil freaked out when she say tt

going back from work EARLY means ard 10+ pm.

thank gdness she's a born workaholic and perfectionist,

so i guess her workload didnt hit her as much,

as it would, say, me.

cant wait to hang out with her and soff this sat.

took de boy to his first fondue experience.

he LOVES chocolates and ice cream.

ADORES it rather. much much more than any guy i've known,

or any girls for that matter.

mariam's testimonial made me smile.

thanks babe.

so sweet of u.

ill see u and de rest of de girls this sunda k? =)

alright gtg get ready to meet de boy.

going with him, my sis and her bf to de soccer match today.

it's my first at national stadium, can u imagine?

haha. i'll try to update more often.

2007-01-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

sit back n think.

been so absorbed with living out life aft sch,

tt i kinda forgot to sit down,

and reflect abt it.

yea, i am mellow like dat at times.

i noe ppl noe me as de hyper, kecoh girl,

but there is a time when i shut down,

and think abt wad's going on,

as a third party.

is tt normal or am i just whacked?

anyway,

these days i realise tt

i dun like to pour out my feelings

although sometimes it kills me inside.

and i have perfected de art of

being able to smile, talk, laugh

and joke even though i feel like crap inside.

it's killing me,

cos i think i act so well

tt ppl simply dun realise tt i am hurting inside.

oh well. talked abt marriage to friz.

as usual.

scares de hell outta me.

i am seriously tired.

but i really got to move on

cos i got so many things at hand to do.

k, enuff of de depressing entry.

tmr de usual hyper me will be back k.

and, happy 23rd birthday to my darling galfren,

one whom i have been missing dearly,

since she is no longer meeting me everyday,

tolerating my crap, day in and day out.

Sharifah Mariam, Happy Bday Darling, i heart u many many!

2007-01-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

de absence.

didnt realise i haven been updating for a week.

been bz and lazy,. hehe.

but here i am, just a short update

since so many ppl told me to do so.

hehe. sorry la eh.

i've been so stagnant lately

nuthing much to share.

been to settlers thrice now.

yet to go other branches tho.

just went there a few hrs ago.

with Is, n three of his frens.

one of them, i just met for de first time,

but keep glancing at him,

not cos i was attracted to his looks or anything,

but cos he looked so damn familiar.

found out we were from de same pri skol.

wad else?

oh yea. last saturday was LYF graduation.

de de nite before at 4PM.

and at swensens aft de event with da ladies.

Is was a gd sport.

he helped out with de mountain of work

for de event de nite before. thanks babe.

before going 4PM, went to teman uncle

to receive his national day award.

so proud of him.

saw a teacher from cedar last time.

now hod laaaa... not bad.

on monday, went to a job agency

to apply for a temp job.

den visit my dearest ally at hospital.

not used to seeing her weak like dat.

hope she gets well soon.

den aft tt took de cable car!!!

so long tak naik.

going for an interview on monday.

excited but nervous.

but just scoring an interview

makes me happy at least.

a moral boost, aft rotting at home for a while now.

=)

2007-01-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

so confused.

today, de plan was to go down to 4PM to

get my testimonial.

and den to help liyana.

but i ended up getting more that i wanted.

i got a job offer.

in fact, de head of 4PM sat me down

for more than half an hour in de counselling room,

asking me to consider working

as a counsellor there. (how ironic)

he needs an answer by friday.

and de testimonial i got from 4PM,

it's actually for a job tt i am trying out for.

a counsellor under MOE.

frankly, i dun think i'd get it,

but who noes right?

so, hmm i dunno.

de MOE application closes on de 20th.

darn.

i'm so torn.

well, besides tt.

went shopping for uncle's stuff in de evening.

alone.

bought 2 shirts from G2000 cos i couldnt decide

which one would look better for his function

this friday.

he's getting de national day award.

and he's bringing me along.

so of cos i had to get sth for myself to wear.

since it's an afternoon event, black is out.

got myself this pretty dress. but costs more than usual.

oh well. skali skala kan.

by de way, i have been an irritating partner to tt someone

for half a yr now.

time flies. seems like yesterday he gave me food at my house.

tt was how we met de first time, by de way. haha.

i'm all abt food i guess. =p

2007-01-15T00:49:00.000+08:00

de kid in me.

since i got so much time in my hands during

de last 2 weeks, i've been..

bowling, playing pool, playing arcade,

playing cards, playing board games

with my partner-in-crime.

who else if not...

took the bf de other day to ramen ten.

was his first time.

i dun think i like to explore much when it comes to food.

i steered clear of de miso soup, and de chawanmushi.

however u spell it.

some pics.

i finally stepped to settlers' cafe.

went to de one at katong.

went with de bf, and his fren, zay.

actually i was quite scared they wun like de whole concept,

de idea of board games and stuff.

but we had a great time!

we got de correct guy who helped us choose our games,

and de first game especially rocked!!!

it was a reaction game,

and once u see this particular sequence,

u are supposed to ring de bell.

de one who has all de cards in de end, wins.

we were shouting, and getting all excited,

until our faces were all red from de excitement.

think we were de loudest.

pretty cool.

will definitely go back dere again.

maybe de other branches.

some pics.

went for meeting on saturday.<

ryu's gonna sing on de 20th!!!!

weeewit. no thanks to us gurls.

haha.

cant wait.

went for shopping with her aft my tuition.

still thinkin bout tt pink raincoat/trench coat from mango.

faithful readers of my blog would noe tt i haf such a huge prob

with wearing his raincoat on rainy days if we take his bike.

i saw the PERFECT one tt i wouldnt mind wearing.

but no money. it's expensive for me. haizzzz.

2007-01-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

rain outside my window.

haiz.

i am supposed to be somewhere near great world city at 3.30.

and it's raining so heavily now.

coupled with the fact tt i'll prolly get lost,

i'm gonna arrive there drenched.

great.

woke up to my sis n de silly boy's msges.

my sis wanna be an ssp tutor too. with her classmates.

and her reminder abt sth makes me worry so much abt her.

haiya, no amt of assurance from her or anyone else

is gonna make me feel good.

she's already 18, going 19 this yr,

but i just cant help worrying.

i wonder if i'm doing de right thing,

giving her support and not telling my parents abt it.

de dilemma abt being de eldest huh? haiz.

i am currently stressed cos everyone is asking me

abt my plans.

i duno. i really dun.

it's not as easy as ppl think.

esp if i wanna work in de field of my choice.

i mean, i can easily get a general job in admin or customer service,

but... i dunno. i'll prolly get bored.

but mebbe i should do tt as a temp.

while i look for a job tt i really want.

i dunno.

i miss skol. i miss de long rides to and from sch.

i miss de times when he fetches me home.

i miss learning new things,

and believe it or not, i miss de workload.

oh well. i am running late. mebbe i'll take a cab.

haha. i am just a lazy ass.

who doesnt wanna get lost and get wet.

and be late.

hmmmz. oh well, gtg.

ps: cant wait for meeting this sat. are u girls gonna be dere?

i'm told i am assisting with performance.

haha. so cool.

2007-01-09T13:11:00.000+08:00

lyf.

sorry for de short hiatus.

forgot to tell ppl tt i was gonna be away

for de weekend for a retreat with de ssp+rsp ppl.

i had sth on friday, and only joined them

on saturday.

was greeted by sleepy ppl who entertained me

with stories abt de nightwalk de night before.

u can go to aida's blog to read abt one such story.

initially, i was quite reluctant to go

cos i still haf phobia of camps.

thanks to my not-so-nice camp experience de last time.

but, i had a kickass time.

thanks to ahmad and de boys for all de activities.

and de girls for de bond, laughter,

and tolerating my kecoh-ness.

it's ok la, i forgive u girls for calling me

minahrep, minah rempit... and wadever names la.

even tho mariam went one step further and

wrote me a testimonial abt it in frenster.

takper takper. ada ubi ada batas, yada yada...

haha. i still love u girls la k.

dun forget de swensens thingy!!!!

oh yea, i think ladyluck was with me de whole time.

during de prize exchange, syafiq got me a

gorgeous adidas bag. i think i got one of de most

expensive prezzies for tt nite.

nisa, thank ur boy again for me k? so touched,

sampai print2 my gambar skali.

and... for de lucky draw, i won 3rd prize.

a 50 dollar NIKE voucher.

ezwan n hamzi won de top 2 prizes, a 100 dollar voucher each.

but i am still very happie la.

mcm pegi shopping.

kakak2 yg dpt toaster tu, have fun toasting de breads k.

and liyana, have fun with de remote controller. hehehe.

de silly boy joined me for de bbq on sat.

sorry he was left alone for quite a while when we had activities.

he was kinda pissed abt it,

but i made him happy again? yeay. i am getting better at this.

ending of with some pictures of a very oily n selekeh me.

after de dry games. we girls snap pics!

wet games. muke sedih. aft this pic, i got pelted by a water bomb. thanks arh kak sa'adah. thank gdness mamat didnt get his revenge, cos boi instructed me to run to de right side so tt mamat wun get to hit me. muahaha

this is wad we love to do most. cam whoring. dah basah2, and with me talking on de fone, still can take pics. isssssh.

a bunch of us @ de bbq. much love!

it was supposed to me n liyana only, but at de mention of
taking a pic, we found ourselves with company. hehe.

my dearest girls. de ones who kecoh-ed in de bunks together-gether.

before heading to de beach. pic snapped by de boy.

while we launched to full-blown girl talk, u noe,
de whole 'how some guys are such pathetic Aholes n incumbent jerks' thing,
he decided to do this to fill up his time, tho he was listening
and chuckling at wad we were talking abt. romantic jugak my boy eh?

de 10 of us, at de beach at ard 4 am? i think.

nisa giler. mentang2 i FINALLY BATHED. haha.

yes. i look fat. de whole weekend, everyone was saying
how tembam i am and touchin my butt like nobody's business. de girls i mean.
thanks arh.

de girls i heart since children's day event.

2007-01-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

and life goes on.

i feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

i've been procrastinating,

for who knows wad reason,

and finally today i got down to it.

mebbe de message i sent was a bit harsh,

but i think i got everything i want across.

aft 2 years of on-off frenship,

or wadever it was,

i finally had enuff of it.

had enuff of being dere for him when he needs me.

and den disappearing when he don.

and i was hell sure abt one thing i wrote in de msg.

i mistook u for an unpolished gem,

when all that u are is a piece of broken glass.

tt aside,

a conversation last nite assures me of my

current take on life right now.

no one noes me better than de few ppl i hold close

to my heart no matter how i widen my social circle.

de bonds i have with these ppl is not measured

by de number of times i see them in a mth,

and it amazes me how when we finally get to catch up,

it seemed like they're alwaes dere, always understanding,

and dat sometimes words need not be spoken to understand

wad's up in my life.

don even haf to read my blog entries.

u can call me Ms Social Butterfly right now,

but i'm still de same ol girl.

i feel most at home with de few ppl who haf alwaes been

dere for me thru storms n sunshines.

u ppl noe hu u r.

i'm so blessed to haf u guys ard. =)

going out in abt one hr.

i better start gettign ready soon if i wanna keep

to one of my resolutions...

TO START BEING PUNCTUAL!

haha. i'm sure frens will be smiling away reading this.

yes yes, i took into acct all de frustrations u guys

have been feeling. hahaha.

mebbe just 5 mins late? =p

have a nice day ya'll.

2006-12-31T16:42:00.000+08:00

reminisce.

so once again, i'm here,

attempting to summarise a whole yr's worth

of happenings in my life.

one thing though, end of every yr,

i step into the new yr feeling i gained

a whole lot during de past yr.

and this yr is no exception.

summarising,

i started and ended my last yr in uni.

i saw my frens graduate, wear the gowns,

and start on their careers.

i made new frens esp in 4PM,

and a whole load of kids who are simply endearing.

i rekindled frenships, and

dared to befriend those i dun haf quite gd impressions

at de start.

and yes, who could forget tt i ended a relationship,

and am almost half a yr into my new relationship.

i saw the support of frens, and family who brought me up

to my feet again.

without them i am nothing.

so here's wishing 2007 will mean

good health, great frenships, strong family bonds,

and love all ard! =)

ending of with a huge collage of this yr!

(click on it to see a bigger version k)