why do some ppl end up not getting married?

my closest uncle is one example.

i wonder why he chose to stay single.

ppl have been telling me tt i need to find someone

sepadan dgn me.

it was never an issue 3 yrs ago, it shudden be an issue now.

education, religion, money.

so if i am in uni, i should find someone like me too.

if i haf a certain level of religious knowledge,

the other person must have the same or even higher lvl.

if i haf a certain lvl of socio-econ status,

the other person should haf tt or higher.

with the exception of maybe de religious part, yg lain merepek la.

wad's impt is the person must have a drive to do the best he can.

and u cant condemn everyone because of the kind of families

they are born into u noe.

if all malays think like this, if darjat still plays a part,

mcm maner melayu nak maju?

de best thing abt this is, for de past 1+ mth or so,

everyone ard me seems to think tt way.

no doubt, my family said tt cos they were hurt.

how could they not be when they accepted him as part of the family,

onli to end up him ditching me partly cos his family thinks

i wasnt good enough.

my mum, in particular, was appalled.

in wad way is he better than me?

all this while, they have never ever thought of me as being better

than him.

because i am not.

i give him credit cos he taught me how to be more street-wise,

he taught me stuff that i cant ever learn from textbooks.

and yes, i do teach him wad i noe, and it has nvr been an issue.

if u guys check his friendster profile now,

his latest testimonial to be exact,

from one of his cousin.

one i barely noe except for her name and de fact tt she can sing.

i have never had as much as a convo with her cos there wasnt

an opportunity to.

i remembered consoling san cos he was feeling down,

sad cos this cousin of his was getting a laptop from his uncle

cos she got a place in poly. he never had tt kind of treatment.

basically, tt's all i noe abt her.

she's no one in my life.

so when her testimonial read "u deserve sumone more worthy of your love"

my first thought was "mcm pahammmm je"

i dun care hu reads this,

i have had enuff. i have tolerated enuff crap.

i thank God tt my family is not the kind to bitch ard,

because they could have said more.

san broke up with me dammit.

he tore my heart up into pieces.

while he sleeps at night on that very nice bed, on the very nice bedspread,

with the very nice teddy bear, hugging the very nice pillow,

all of which could haf reminded him of me,

but he can just ignore everything i did to his life, his home,

i haf dreams of him every night still.

he's always somewhere in my mind.

i never had a gd nite's sleep since the break-up.

so before u say sth, all of u,

think.

to his sister, i chose to delete tt vile testimonial u gave me for one reason.

cos i do not want my frens to curse u like wad u guys have been doing to me.

i could haf said a lot abt u.

esp since ur bro said so many stuff abt u to me.

but i choose not to.

becos even tho u were out gallivanting during times when i was

cleaning up ur house on ur behalf, tt thought nvr cross my mind,

until san said it to me in anger.

my love life fell apart because of his family.

why de comments, aft 2.5 yrs?

isnt it too late to break someone's heart?

why judge only now?

i still do think tt love is only for 2 ppl.

and others should stay out.

because it will make things complicated.

we fell for each other without anyone telling us to,

so if we break up, it should be just between the two of us.

i end off quoting this gurlfren of mine who said this to me

one night at the esplanade rooftop..

"girl, just think of this. ppl can tell u tt u deserve someone better.

but ppl cant ever say tt to him. because dere's no one better for him

than u. he's tired of making sacrifices. but u made sacrifices too.

even more, actually"

and that came not just from anyone,

but from the very girl i fought with time n again,

with san in de middle of it all.

yes, it came from san's previous ex.

and so i can safely say tt it's not a biased statement,

because she used to hate my guts.

tt was before we knew each other personally.

so if u talk shit about me, if u think nonsense abt me,

get to know me, my thoughts, my feelings, my sacrifices, my side.

God gave everyone the mouth to talk, yes

but if you've got nothing nice to say,

den it's better if you keep quiet.

but if u think u r right, as you always think you are,

den talk to me face to face.

u know my number, it's not hard to get it.

i believe san cant forget the number he's been dialling

for the past 2.5 yrs.

if you dont wanna hear my voice,

my msn is dere. baby_cedar@hotmail.com.

gosh, i am so tired of being misunderstood.