altruism, selflessness : the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others

frens tell me, tt it's my gd and bad point at de same time.

de silly boy said tt last night too.

but i'll help when i can. cos it's my nature.

i cant feign ignorance when it comes to my frens n family.

i dunno y.

and so many times, my desire to help those in need,

is also de bane to so many problems.

i don't like to beat ard de bush, i don like to take sides.

sometimes, ppl say wad de other party want to hear.

i am not like tt at all.

i say what you DON't want to hear. wad u are AFRAID to hear.

i like playing devil's advocate.

i like to play mind games.

i like to give ppl a wake up call.

reverse psychology? all tt and more.

i'm all that, but i dun take sides.

i give an outsider's perspective, even tho i can be ur closest fren.

i am blessed with the wits to do tt,

and de brains to think rationally,

and de knowledge and experience to give a different point of view.

u can either take it or leave it,

but rest assured, i'm not the kind to main cucuk2,

take sides, or jadi batu api.

i am so beyond all tt.

tt aside, last night, de past came back to haunt me.

not someone from my past, just de things i did back den.

i have alwaes known, no matter how i try to change

somehow i'll alwaes be questioned, reminded, of wadever i did.

but seriously, doesnt matter wad i did....

it was all mistakes ok? i seriously dont want u to do any of it.

will u listen to me? even tho u think i am so flawed?

i am hoping u will.

haiz.

last thing, exams in a couple of days.

but i am really exhausted.

juggling so many things.

thanks Is for accompanying me every single day.

i haven been spending quality time with him.

urgh. and i am feeling on de edge these days...

5th of decemeber, and it'll all be ok.

i hope so.

Kak Sue passed me a copy of her resume.

it really helps, but at de same time,

it got me wondering, wda de hell have i been doing for 22 yrs of my life?

but tt comes aft exams i guess. and bday. and aft camp. and my kl trip.

Ain, hang on k? you can do this. it's de final lap.